Women raped by SLO County barber give impact statements as he asks for a new trial

Editor’s note: This story contains sexual assault and self-harm.

The Atascadero barber who was convicted of sexually assaulting multiple underage girls had his sentencing postponed after his lawyer filed a motion for a new trial, a judge ruled Tuesday.

Meanwhile, victims in the case gave impact statements before the court on Tuesday.

Nate Abate, 36, was convicted on Oct. 18 of three of the four crimes he was charged with: oral copulation of a minor in 2008 and forcible rape and rape of an intoxicated person in 2009. The jury split 9-3 in favor of guilt on the fourth charge, forcible rape in 2012.

San Luis Obispo Superior Court Judge Michael Frye declared a mistrial on the fourth charge. It is unclear at this time whether the District Attorney’s Office will refile that charge.

Abate’s attorney, Scott Taylor, filed a motion for a new trial Monday evening, which caused Abate’s sentencing hearing Tuesday to be postponed “based on grounds alleged (that) are serious and something I cannot simply ignore,” Frye said in court. No one in court expanded on what was in the motion, and it was filed under seal.

A status conference was scheduled for Nov. 19.

That left the majority of Tuesday for statements from Abate’s victims.

“He took my innocence. He took my voice,” Lauren Doe said in her statement to the court. “The effects and memory of what this man did to me will haunt me for the rest of my life.”

Lauren was one of seven victims who spoke in court Tuesday to share with the judge how Abate’s assaults impacted their lives, with an eighth submitting a written statement as well.

All urged the judge to sentence Abate to the maximum allowable under the law — eight years and eight months.

Abate’s family members also spoke, asking the judge for leniency. They claimed Abate is a changed man and a good father, and that a long prison sentence would negatively affect his family and children.

Abate was one of two men accused on social media of sexually assaulting or harassing at least 30 women. Julian Contreras, former owner of Kin Coffee in downtown San Luis Obispo, was also accused and has a felony warrant out for his arrest. He has since fled the country and is believed to be in Mexico, attorneys said during the trial.

Survivors who testified speak at sentencing hearing

Ashley Doe, the woman who first posted about her 2012 assault on social media, said she was in the midst of a three-year period where she was insecure and vulnerable. She was 21, excited for her future and hoping to meet a man who would make her life better.

“I know now that the man who fit that bill, the one who raped me, was drawn to my vulnerability,” she said. “I know that because of the dozens of other women who contacted me privately to say that he did the same thing to them, with or without his best friend, Julian Contreras.”

She said the rape immediately infected her “like a poison” and consumed everything she was for a decade. She said she tried harming herself in an “attempt to overpower the sensation in her body,” she woke up nauseous daily, and she struggled with suicidal ideation and whether she could trust people.

“Every person was someone who would trick me into trusting them so they could take advantage of me,” she said. “Everyone I loved was lying to me, but also themselves in danger of being irreparably harmed.”

One of the hardest parts of her rape was the fact that that evening, she brought her friend, who also was raped.

“To this day, I carry blame in my heart for taking my best friend there. She has to live with it, too,” she said.

San Luis Obispo County Deputy District Attorney Kimberly Dittrich read Lauren Doe’s written statement aloud to the judge.

More than a decade later, Lauren said, her 2009 rape continues to affect her. She couldn’t focus in school, which caused her to fail, she lost trust in most men, and it caused arguments with her mother because she was afraid to come forward. She’s been in therapy for PTSD for a decade, she said, but is still struggling.

“It has affected my ability to love myself, respect myself. He took my power away. I felt that people would take what they wanted from me, even if I said no, just like he did,” she said.

She added that Abate receiving the maximum sentence would allow the women he harmed to begin to heal.

Elena Doe, Lauren’s mother, told the judge that the women who came forward were “super-heroines for sexual assault victims everywhere.”

Elena said Lauren was 13 when Abate assaulted her, and the rape instilled fear, disgust, distrust and self-blame in her daughter.

“It’s truly unbearable for a parent to listen to,” Elena said of her daughter’s assault. “I would hope, Mr. Abate, that you would never have to listen to it from your own daughter.”

Carina Doe, who testified in the trial about her 2009 rape when she was 13, said she hopes justice is served for all the women Abate has harmed. She said she regrets not testifying against Abate when she was a teenager.

Her rape changed her as a woman and as a mother and how she navigates her daily life, she said, adding that she is actively working in therapy to deal with the pain of being assaulted so young.

Tiffany Doe, who also was raped by Abate, turned a written impact statement into the court.

Abate’s ‘unseen victims’ ask for the maximum punishment

Three additional women, whose rapes were not included in the trial, also spoke at Abate’s sentencing. All asked the judge to consider their pain and how wide-reaching Abate’s actions were in his sentence.

Amanda Doe identified herself as one of Abate’s “unseen victims” and said she was raped in 2010 when she was 20.

Abate gave her alcohol and once “the world was spinning” and she was “more pliable,” he raped her in his mother’s bed, she said.

“I know this was assault because I pretended to be asleep,” she said. “When that didn’t delay him, I lay there in a state of confusion and shock.”

She said she was afraid to come forward because she didn’t think anyone would believe her. She and Abate had mutual friends who had known him for years, and she was just a drunk girl at a party.

“I didn’t know that silence and consent were not the same thing, and I blamed myself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time,” she said. “I tried to convince myself that if I didn’t want it, I would have screamed or pushed him away. How do you convince someone that you were raped when you froze instead of fighting with every fiber of your being?”

The rape has continued to affect her relationships with men, she said, adding that she assumes every man she meets is capable of what Abate did to her.

“I’ve had to teach myself how to trust again,” she said. “Each time I make progress, I have to stop and consider that maybe I shouldn’t try to get better, because if I start trusting people, another Nate Abate could work his way in and take advantage of me. I don’t want to feel like that stupid little girl who knew better than to trust a stranger and did it anyway.”

Lexi Doe was in a yearlong relationship with Contreras when she was 13 and he was 17. She said Abate spent the year “manipulating her vulnerability when she had issues with Contreras.”

“Although those were my choices and I was still somewhat coherent, they were four years older — 17 and 13 is very different. Although those are still kids technically, they had a lot more life experience.”

She said she has the same issues the other women expressed, especially with trusting others. She said she regrets not coming forward earlier, but hopes justice will finally be served on behalf of the dozens of women he harmed.

Gracie Doe, another victim, said she wasn’t prepared to speak, but asked the judge to consider the fact that Abate had a clear pattern when he would target women and girls to assault.

She said Abate is an obvious “recurring repeat offender — predator” that has shown in his actions that he needs the maximum amount in prison time to rehabilitate and pay for his actions.

Family members claim defendant was influenced by ‘toxic friendship’ Julian Contreras

Abate’s wife, mother, pastor and his wife’s best friend all gave character statements on his behalf to ask the judge for leniency.

Brandi Abate, his wife, said that she does not want to diminish the seriousness of his crimes or the impact it had on his victims, but she added that Abate’s absence from his daughter and two stepsons has already been damaging to their family.

She claimed Abate was influenced by his friendship with Contreras, who he stopped being friends with in 2013 despite a photo of him visiting Kin Coffee in 2022.

She said since that time, he has spent his life learning to be a barber and building his business.

“Aside from his work, he is committed to our family and our faith. He is guided daily by his belief in redemption, kindness and personal growth,” she said. “I’ve watched him live out these values, striving to become a better man and husband and father.”

Abate is the sole provider for their family, and his absence has pushed his family into poverty, Brandi said, adding that several studies show children who grow up in poverty are negatively affected.

She said both her and her husband have been “attacked” on social media by his victims, which has alienated her and her children from their community.

“I have witnessed him crying multiple times, crying for the foolish way he lived as a young man and for anyone he hurt in his past,” she said.

She asked the judge to consider her husband’s character and growth over the past decade and the negative impact his absence will have on his family.

Abate’s mother, who declined to give her name to the court, echoed what Brandi said, adding that her son was in a “toxic friendship” with Contreras, “who badly influenced him.” She noted that many of the woman who shared their assaults by her son also said Contreras was involved.

She said her son has worked to live a responsible life with integrity and asked the judge for mercy and compassion.

Abate’s pastor, Josh, said Abate and his wife joined his church three years ago and was open and honest about the allegations against him.

He said the church is filled with men who have pasts and women who have been assaulted, and “they’ve made a place for Nathan in our church not because they minimize the pain of women in the community, but because they believe in a brighter future.”

Josh said Abate talks about how he’s applying church principles to his life and strives to be a good husband, father and man.

“He serves in our church. He doesn’t work with kids, we’re not stupid,” Josh said. When laughs were heard from the gallery, he added “I didn’t mean to insult anyone, but we understand the past. We don’t think the past has no implications.”

He said Abate is making a positive impact on people now and should be able to continue moving forward doing that.

Brandi’s best friend, who did not share her name with the court, also asked for leniency and said Abate’s absence will negatively affect his family, especially his kids.