Gaffe of the week. Moron of the week. Insane 911 call of the week.
However you choose to look at this story, you're sure to get a good laugh from it, even if you're a member of the New Castle Police Department.
Gregory Jackson Sr., a 52-year-old man from Indiana, chose a rather interesting way to order takeout last Friday night. Hit hard with a case of the munchies, Jackson called 911 not once, but nine times, all in an effort to procure a delicious cheeseburger.
Seriously, NINE times! It's the kind of mindless, presumably drunken tenacity that gives this dude walking down the up escalator a run for his money.
WishTV.com was kind enough to share some of Jackson's conversation with the dispatcher:
Dispatcher: Do you have an emergency sir, because you dialed 911.
Gregory: I dialed 911.
Dispatcher: Yeah you dialed 911.
According to the report, much of what Jackson said was difficult to understand.
Dispatcher: I don't, I am not understanding a word your saying sir.
Dispatcher: OK, what did you need?
The dispatcher admirably tries to figure it out.
Dispatcher: OK, so why did you call 911 for, what do you need.
Dispatcher: Do you have an emergency?
Gregory: A cheeseburger.
Dispatcher: Have a good day.
And this is when the fun really begins.
Dispatcher: 911, Your emergency.
Greg: Yes, I just spoke with you. You hung up on me.
Dispatcher: Well I asked if you had an emergency. You said no, you needed a cheeseburger. So we don't take cheeseburger orders.
Dispatcher: You know if you give me some information maybe we can try and help you out.
[ Last week's gaffe: BBC airs ‘Hey Joe’ right after Pistorius story ]
The dispatcher, whose patience had presumably run thin around the fourth or fifth call, eventually learned that her new friend, the venerable Mr. Jackson, has quite a criminal history. In fact, Jackson had a warrant out for his arrest after failing to appear in court just two days earlier.
An officer, carrying handcuffs instead of a cheeseburger, was sent to Jackson's apartment.
Dispatcher: You hear them knocking?
Jackson was promptly placed under arrest, but police did not immediately press any preliminary charges related to the cheeseburger emergency calls.
For alerting the police to his whereabouts, and facilitating the arrest for his own warrant, Gregory Jackson Sr. has been awarded this week's Gaffe of the Week, commemorated with this picture of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford in butter.
Gaffe of the Week appears each Thursday
On Yahoo! Canada News.