25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (July 21 - August 3)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between.
And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humour in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or fewer.
Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous two weeks. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
My husband bought candy corn at the grocery store. Does anybody know if you can return husbands?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 2, 2020
1.
Me, when husband play cards on his iPhone: “I don’t know why he wastes so much time on that stupid phone.”
Also Me: *wastes 2 hours watching YouTube clips of wild turkeys attacking mail carriers*— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 22, 2020
2.
[cleaning out the fridge]
me: I'll throw this hummus away
wife: what's the expiration?
me: August 5..
wife: that's not too bad
me: ..2019
wife: wtf— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 27, 2020
3.
My husband popped in from work and surprised me. After whispering a sexy suggestion to him he whispered back, “I was just in the area and I really gotta poop.”
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 25, 2020
4.
My wife just sighed from the other room, so I won't be leaving this room anytime soon.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) July 21, 2020
5.
MY WIFE IS NAPPING AND I HAVE TO SNEEZE THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL FOR ME
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 25, 2020
6.
My wife went to Target without me (betrayal) but she came home with a stick vacuum that I’m now cradling in my arms like a newborn baby (redemption). Loving her character arc today.
— Lucy Bexley 🏳️🌈 (@bexley_lucy) July 26, 2020