The World May Someday Cease To Exist, So Let's Enjoy These 26 Funny Tweets From Last Week While We Got 'Em
Welcome back, y'all. I'm back with another week of funny tweets in tow to wrap up May (yes, it's almost June...).
you’re telling me june starts next week? pic.twitter.com/umrswBJ0Le
— kyle (@parkersrina) May 23, 2024
Warner Bros. Pictures / Via Twitter: @parkersrina
So, before we jump into the long, hot summer days (though most of us already have) and mosquito-bitten legs (also already accomplished), let's review all the funny moments this second to last week of May offered us:
1.
dogs: https://t.co/oJEde890GS
— 𝔎𝔥𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔧𝔞𝔥 🗝₊˚⊹ ♡ (@gwenisonline) May 19, 2024
2.
Seeing onions for the first time: https://t.co/ja4dTcreB7
— nives🧃 (@ni7es) May 19, 2024
3.
tiktok be like “someone you may know” and it’s someone i’ve vowed to destroy in this lifetime
— ✮ almondmilkhunni ✮ (@almondmilkhunni) May 19, 2024
4.
whoever made this wanted him so bad https://t.co/1DUKM9J8fm
— paul (@paulswhtn) May 20, 2024
5.
One time at a party this girl and I realized we were wearing the exact same jeans, but mine were a little too big for me and hers were a little too small for her. So we went to the bathroom and traded. Both fit perfectly. Very professional, we didn’t speak the rest of the night
— 🌥️sydney (@mornings0da) May 19, 2024
6.
you’re not a real water drinker unless you’re also willing to be a real pisser
— olive🍸 (@celsiusexual) May 20, 2024
7.
The person who reported me to the HOA just accidentally outed herself in our FB group, so if anyone needs me I’ll be busy spending the day making sure she’s regrets that
— Nikki Wolfe (@Nikki704) May 24, 2024
8.
i hate my fuckass brain. every time i see this sign on a plane my immediate impulse is to interpret it as “sowwy no stowage 🥺” pic.twitter.com/D8hNijzk5D
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) May 21, 2024
9.
I went to the Apple Store to buy new headphones n realized I forgot my credit card in my other purse and I asked the clerk if they took Apple Pay n he looked at me and said what do u think
— ;p (@beefymosquito) May 24, 2024
10.
Just walked to the grocery store at 10 PM and saw a disgruntled father walking out with his teen daughter, who was holding a tri-fold poster board and looked harried. Pray for this family.
— Alyssa Leader (@alittleleader) May 21, 2024
11.
5 feep deet pic.twitter.com/RoH85DJtX7
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) May 21, 2024
12.
Not y’all eating fried pirate maps https://t.co/SpWC9wPvAU
— Ben Wegmann (@benwegmann) May 21, 2024
13.
2 hours of cooking just to eat in 10 minutes and now I've gotta wash everything pic.twitter.com/qjvrrp9SkH
— Jenni (@hashjenni) May 21, 2024
Warner Bros. Pictures / Via Twitter: @hashjenni
14.
Been looking for my rose for weeks… pic.twitter.com/ZGLiQ5wEMC
— B 👑 (@taylortatianaa) May 24, 2024
15.
omg when the IT guy has remote access to your computer it’s soooo freaky like stoppp bae
— emo normie (@emonormie) May 21, 2024
16.
Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would u believe
— Tina Sieben (@wnbawife) May 22, 2024
17.
Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) May 25, 2024
18.
Me eating: My white shirt: let me taste it. pic.twitter.com/CfwAznNpV8
— Jenni (@hashjenni) May 26, 2024
19.
Ok I’m not being funny but which one am I????? I need to piss immediately pic.twitter.com/DYIJbUJYCk
— Claire St. Clair (@sleepy_homo) May 25, 2024
20.
took my 6 yr old to the bathroomat a friend’s yesterday & she looked around & said “wow…..this bathroom is so pretty & shiny” & then she wiped & was like “mom you HAVE to try this toilet paper; it’s so thick and soft!!!!!” and long story short my kid just discovered wealth 😭
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 26, 2024
21.
My nephew had an upset stomach for a few days. Once he felt better, he said that when he grew up he would invent a medication that would make diarrhea instantly gone and he’d call it gone-a-rhea and we grownups were like nahhh buddy that name is kinda already taken.
— 🐀 (@Guiness_Pig) May 27, 2024
22.
roommate broke up with his girlfriend that cooked for us pic.twitter.com/yVBX18lYGG
— jeremy (@then0wnow) May 23, 2024
Warner Bros. Pictures / Via Twitter: @then0wnow
23.
this isnt normal right? my roomate swears everyones chair does this eventually but i think his asshole has teeth pic.twitter.com/ynNHvl4xm7
— Sammy (@astoIfoschiId) May 25, 2024
24.
*at my surprise party* “soo you guys like have a groupchat without me??"
— Soup (@soupinthering) May 25, 2024
25.
My mom texting me that people wished me happy birthday on facebook and that I should “put out a brief statement thanking them” like she’s my PR rep pic.twitter.com/uB1HypwgR6
— imagine owning the world’s greatest love songs (@davibroui) May 24, 2024
Bratz / Fox / Via Twitter: @davibroui
26.
me letting everyone know that the four seasons orlando baby is a girl pic.twitter.com/LVPg01hqeN
— ✨ (@adriwankenobi) May 21, 2024
ABC / The View / Via Twitter: @adriwankenobi
That's all for this week, but there are plenty more laughs in our recent roundups (and as always, don't forget to shoot these creators a follow if they made ya laugh!):
35 Straight-Up Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because You Deserve A Little Treat
