33 Sexual Awakenings From TV And Movies You'll Only Understand If You're Not 100% Straight
1.In The Parent Trap, when Meredith Blake looked up at the camera in that glorious black hat, which gave me heart palpitations, and then Nick Parker walked onto the screen and immediately had me questioning if I had unresolved daddy issues.
RIP Natasha Richardson, who was also a smokeshow (and will always be Princess Diana to my younger self).
2.In Pirates of the Caribbean, when both Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom made me wish I could be a pirate in search of some booty.
They're both just so pretty???
3.In The Mummy, when Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser had the audacity to look like THIS in every single scene, and my heart skipped several beats.
Quirky, smart, and hot badasses. You really can't do better than that, folks.
LAKSJLDFLKDFJLKSDFDS, LIKE???????
4.In Boy Meets World, when Shawn and Angela made out on that iconic red couch, and I desperately wished I could have joined them. (Rider Strong's lips just looked so soft, okay?!)
They really deserved to end up together. (And with me.)
5.In John Tucker Must Die, when Sophia Bush taught Brittany Snow how to kiss in that one scene, but more importantly, when Jesse Metcalfe jumped into bed while wearing that lacy thong.
Honorable mention goes to Penn Badgley and those luscious, luscious curls, as well as basically any time Ashanti was on screen.
6.In The Princess Diaries, when Mandy Moore and Erik von Detten played with that piece of gum, and I turned into a fantasizing Mia Thermopolis.
Anne Hathaway, you will always have my heart. Marry me.
7.In Family Matters, when Steve Urkel transformed into Stefan Urquelle, and I started to feel the same way about him as I did Laura Winslow.
Laura Winslow had the brains, the looks, AND the personality. An iconic triple threat who I would have married on the spot, no questions asked.
8.In Smallville, when grown-adult Tom Welling played 14-year-old Clark Kent, and I drooled a little bit every time his shirt came off.
He was 24 years old in real life when the show premiered, and I still think we'd make a cute couple.
9.In The Outsiders, when I had to watch this movie in school and had sooooo many inappropriate thoughts about the entire cast, so I'm shocked I wasn't sent to the principal's office (or directly to hell).
Sunset Boulevard / Corbis via Getty Images
A young Rob Lowe, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, Ralph Machio, Emilio Estevez, and C. Thomas Howell..............all together............in one room..........without me?????? So unfair.
10.In Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, when Kimberly and Zack first came on screen, and I desperately wanted to see their Megazords.
Honorable mention goes to Tommy, the original Green Ranger, and his long hair.
11.In Hocus Pocus, when Max thought about Allison's yabbos, and so did I, but I also thought about Max thinking about Allison's yabbos, and, wow, now we're in a never-ending loop.
Human-form Thackery Binx was on my radar as well.
12.In Batman and Robin, when Chris O'Donnell's bulging suit made me question everything, and I couldn't figure out who I wanted to kiss more between him and Uma Thurman.
When Robin pulled off those rubber lips to prove he was immune to Poison Ivy's deathly kiss??? I'm sorry, but if the two of them in this scene didn't make you question your sexuality then you're not human.
13.In Spy Kids, when Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino were so freaking horny for each other the entire time, and it brought new meaning to the words "mommy" and "daddy."
A formative moment for me was when Alexa Vega's character said "sh*t" and then tried to cover it up by saying "shiitake mushrooms." Don't ask why.
14.In X2: X-Men United, when Shawn Ashmore blew on Hugh Jackman's soda bottle to make it colder, and I immediately thought of something else he could blow too.
Their sexual tension was so palpable that it almost made me forget about my undying thirst for James Marsden, Famke Janssen, and Halle Berry.
15.In Bring It On, when Gabrielle Union cheered her way right into my heart forever, and all the male cheerleaders...well...let's just say I wouldn't mind spotting them.
Eliza Dushku, you will always be famous!!!!
16.In Saved by the Bell, when Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez danced to "Barbara Ann" in those colorful shorts, and I suddenly forgot all about Kelly Kapowski.
When Mario Lopez did that split...hello.
17.In 13 Going on 30, when Jenna and Matty showed each other their Razzle-red tongues, and I immediately fell for them and their ridiculous onscreen chemistry.
That whole "Why Can't I?" montage that plays while the two of them shoot Jenna's new version of Poise magazine??? I melt EVERY time.
18.In 7th Heaven, when Jessica Biel said, "No thanks. I don't smoke," and the D.A.R.E. kid in me had never seen anything hotter...until Barry Watson and David Gallagher walked on the set.
This religious show made me have so many sinful thoughts. See you all in hell!
19.In Two of a Kind, when I was equally jealous of Mary-Kate for having Carey as a babysitter AND Taylor as a math tutor. Desperately needed them both, to be honest!
I don't blame Ashley at all for wanting to switch places with Mary-Kate so she could get closer to Taylor. And don't even get me started on when he dressed as Leo DiCaprio in Titanic during the Halloween episode. My younger self was obsessed.
20.In Casper, when Casper came to life in the form of Devon Sawa, and I slowly realized that something else was coming to life inside of me, and it wasn't just because of Christina Ricci.
And don't even get me started on Devon in Little Giants.
21.In Full House, when I would have k*lled for Uncle Jesse to sing the "Teddy Bear" song to me in bed...and then I would have asked him to hop right in with me.
Also, I was the ultimate goody-two-shoes while growing up, so when Gia appeared on screen as the ~bad girl~ I became VERY intrigued.
22.In Legally Blonde, when Elle talked about spending four amazing hours in the hot tub with Warner after Winter Formal, so ~I~ started thinking about spending four amazing hours in the hot tub with Warner.
I also would have settled for just joining Elle in the pool between takes of her video essay for Harvard.
23.In Motocrossed, when my apparently bi king Dean was 100% crushing on Andrea ~even though he thought she was a guy~, and I wanted to join both of them in that hot, sweaty lake.
I love how Disney was like "let's remake Mulan but center it around the sport of motocross."
24.In George of the Jungle, when Leslie Mann covered up Brendan Fraser's body with a book and a bowl, and I actually got a little jealous of two inanimate objects.
We deserve an X-rated version of George of the Jungle.
25.In the TV movie version of Cinderella, when Brandy and Paolo Montalban's chemistry was SO electric that I wanted to ask a fairy godmother to make me their third.
The way they looked at each other??? Those smiles??? Heaven!
26.In Home Improvement, literally any time Jonathan Taylor Thomas did anything.
The fact that I wanted one of those sweaters simply because Jonathan Taylor Thomas wore them in Home Improvement...absolutely toxic!
27.In Alley Cats Strike, when Kyle Schmid, Robert Ri'Chard, and Kaley Cuoco made bowling the hottest sport ever, and 10-year-old me wanted to 7-10 split them in half.
Those three are the reasons why I had bowling birthday parties as a kid. (No, I was not cool!)
28.In One on One, when Robert Ri'chard had that blonde hair...and that shirt...and also no shirt...and those lips...and, wow, I need a minute.
Robert Ri'chard can still get it today, no surprise.
29.In The Sandlot, when I simultaneously thought about getting CPR from the hot lifeguard AND from Benny because, well, you know.
So many sexual awakenings in just one movie. Iconic.
30.In Titanic, when Jack put that c*garette between his lips after saving Rose, and I suddenly wanted him to draw me like one of his French girls.
Like??????? Just look at him!
31.In Step by Step, when Andrew Keegan guest-starred as Christine Lakin's boyfriend for two episodes, and I got butterflies in my stomach from both of them.
I randomly ran into Andrew Keegan a few years ago, and, yes, he was still fine as h*ck.
32.In both Xena: Warrior Princess and Young Hercules, when I simultaneously wanted to play-fight both Lucy Lawless and Ryan Gosling for, um, scientific purposes.
I'd let both of them beat me up.
33.And finally, in The Santa Clause, literally every single time Bernard appeared on the screen. Don't judge me!!!!
I have no real explanation for this one, but my thoughts about him would have put me on the naughty list for sure.
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