Alyson Stoner Says They Were Seen as 'Unsafe' for Children and Fired from Kids Show After Coming Out as Queer
The former child star said the "beauty" of opening up about their sexuality "far outweighs the hate comments and death threats"
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Alyson Stoner believes coming out as queer impacted their career.
The 29-year-old former Disney Channel star, who uses they/them pronouns, revealed in a 2018 Teen Vogue essay that they fell in love with a woman and continued to be “attracted to men, women and people who identify in other ways.”
But reaching that point “was really nerve-racking,” they admitted.
“The reason I ended up doing it was because my girlfriend at the time, we reached a point in our relationship where it felt like it was a disservice to her for her to be hidden, right?” Stoner told Spencewuah on their I’m Literally Screaming podcast earlier this month. “Like, that, that didn't feel good for her, it didn’t feel fair. And even though there were other like pressures and considerations for me to be public, I felt like, OK, I wanna … I wanna do this.”
From there, Stoner said they consulted with their managers, one of whom was the Jonas Brothers’ dad Kevin Jonas Sr. (Stoner appeared in the Camp Rock alongside the star siblings.)
“He's a former pastor and so I was like, 'OK, I know that there's a potential risk here,' and he was very loving and supportive and helpful in me understanding that like, there are risks if I do this,” the actress continued. “It's totally my choice, but it could affect not only people’s perceptions, but also like, hireability for jobs.”
Stoner has now claimed that they did, in fact, lose a job after publicly opening up about their sexuality, saying, “I did end up getting fired from a children’s show because they felt that I was unsafe, now that they knew I was queer, to be around kids. So there was like, definitely discrimination.”
Despite the alleged "discrimination," Stoner felt like they made the right choice.
“The, like, beauty far outweighs the hate comments and death threats,” they said. “It was intimating and also liberating."
Before coming out, Stoner underwent an "outpatient variation" of conversion therapy, hoping at the time to repress their queer side in conformity with long-held religious beliefs.
"I felt like everything was wrong with me, even though I, in my heart of hearts, only desired to be a devoted follower of God," they told Insider in 2021. "So to hear from people you trust, from people you respect, from people you might even aspire to become, that you at your core are 'rotten,' 'abominable,' that the devil has a target on your back because of your position in Hollywood.... It just sends you into a spiral, at least for me, because I just wanted to do the right thing.”
Stoner said they were “considering whether my life was worth living” but ultimately realized they had been “trying to change something that is what I now understand is very natural.”
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The Cheaper by the Dozen star eventually wrote Mind Body Pride in 2021 order to help queer people connect with their authentic selves mentally, physically and emotionally.
“Queer folks (and non-queer, too!) frequently suppress a part or all of who we are,” they wrote June 6 on Instagram. “It can cause us to hide from the world and, in turn, to hide from ourselves. We may silence the wisdom of our bodies and neglect our basic needs. Learning how to listen and rebuild trust with our bodies is essential to healing, building resilience, and speaking our truth authentically.”
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