If you're in search of a remedy for boredom, you won't find it here.
Nor will you find it in Ottawa, apparently, as it was dubbed the most boring city in Canada last night at the inaugural Boring Awards in Toronto, where excitement was the least welcome guest at the party.
In fact, the organizers of Boring Awards say they nearly cancelled the ceremony entirely after a spate of intriguing news events unbefitting of our home and boring land.
From a Senate scandal to allegations that Toronto's mayor smokes crack, Canada suddenly became interesting this week, which was terrible news for the event organizers, who said in a release the excitement was "a disaster" for them.
But much like Canada itself, it seems that in the end, the Boring Awards proved reliable and without much incident.
Even its choice of Ottawa as the country's most boring city is nothing that hasn't been said of the government town before. A documentary project about the city entitled The City That Fun Forgot? launched a few years ago. Ottawa beat out other nominees, including Laval, Que., Lethbridge, Alta., Abbotsford, B.C. and Brampton, Ont.
A screening of the documentary Boredom, directed by Albert Neremberg, followed the awards. The film claims to document a worldwide epidemic of boredom and share a warning: boredom can kill you.
There were some commendable choices for other awards, including the 64th Annual Tax Conference in Calgary, Alberta, as the most boring event of the year. The year's most boring comment?
"Boring and orderly is the Canadian way," by former MP Monte Solberg, as published in the Toronto Sun.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper was this year's most boring Canadian, according to the list of winners emailed to Yahoo! Canada News by Neremberg.
Rob Ford, late night television's newest source of comedic fodder, won the award for the least boring Canadian. Ford beat the Ikea monkey, Peaches, Ryan Gosling and astronaut Chris Hadfield.
Rob Ford: a fine example of why boring might not be so bad at all.
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