Demi Lovato sings about addiction in new song 'Happy Ending': 'I wrote this in an incredibly dark place'
Demi Lovato says their new song "Happy Ending" was written in "an incredibly dark place."
The singer, who returned to rehab in December amid their addiction and mental health struggles, shared a snippet of the new song this week. In an Instagram Story, they said the song, about addiction, was written while they were in "an incredibly dark place," and it's about not falling back into "old habits."
"Getting emotional listening to my new album because I'm so proud of it, Lovato wrote on Instagram. "It's my absolute best yet and so representative of me — where I started and who I am today."
They continued, "Yesterday I posted a song called 'Happy Ending' and even tho I wrote this in an incredibly dark place, I'm so grateful that I'm no longer in that low, cold and lonely place. I'm sure that no matter what happens in my life, my happy ending is never having to fall into old habits again."
Lyrics from "Happy Ending" touch on drug use and past vices.
"I got high / You can name it, I've tried it / But sure, I'm sober now and everybody's proud / But I miss my vices / And I tried to be a hero," they sing.
Another part said: "I was your poster child /It was working for a while / But it didn't fill the void."
The chorus goes: "Am I gonna die trying to find my happy ending? / And will I ever know what it's like to be fine without pretending / That my skin isn't crawling / My demons are calling and tearing me to shreds / Am I gonna die trying to find my happy / find my happy ending?"
Lovato has long struggled with substance abuse and mental health issues, sharing their struggles beginning as a teen. In July 2018, amid a relapse after six years of sobriety, they suffered a near-fatal overdose after taking heroin-laced fentanyl. It resulted in Lovato suffering three strokes and a heart attack. They were hospitalized for two weeks and then entered a three-month rehab program.
In their 2021 YouTube doc Dancing With the Devil, Lovato admitted they relapsed after the overdose, using the same drug with the same drug dealer who they alleged sexually assaulted them the night of the overdose. "I was mortified at my decisions," they said.
Amid their addiction journey, Lovato declared themselves "California sober" last year, saying they still drank and smoked marijuana, but in moderation. That declaration was controversial, then months after, Lovato backpedaled. They said "California sober" didn't work and "sober sober is the only way to be." At that point, Lovato re-entered a rehab facility, going on to complete a month-long program.
"Demi is committed to their well-being, and throughout their life, they plan to do regular check-ins to make sure they are putting themselves first," their rep told People magazine in January, once Lovato was out.
Lovato hasn't detailed what led to that stint in treatment. In March, they dropped out of the NBC pilot Hungry as they continued work on themself and write this new album.