I dread the Biden vs. Trump debate. Both candidates are incompetent and incoherent.

President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump will face each other in a debate Thursday night for the first time since the 2020 election.

I'm dreading it.

In fact, I'd rather gouge out my eyeballs with a sliver of tetanus-laden barbed wire buried in my back yard since the Battle of San Jacinto than listen to these guys for even five whole minutes. I'd rather be forced to listen to Biden mumble "student loan forgiveness program" or Trump mutter "You know taxes, they're the worst" millions of times on a loop on a speaker in a hot sauna for days before I watch them duke it out on live television for two hours.

Let's be real: Neither one of them really knows what he's talking about. Both need notes and teleprompters and dozens of aides to make any lick of sense.

Perhaps it's not fair to politicians − or us − that we expect our presidential candidates to be charismatic and genuine, confident but humble, a genius but an everyman. But times are hard, and the public's expectations are high. As they should be. (Cry more, as the kids say.)

After all, Biden and Trump are applicants for the job of guiding the world's largest economy, leading the nation whose foreign policy sets the agenda for much of the world and commanding the most powerful military in history.

It's not a job for the weak or the feeble-minded. It is the most demanding job in the United States and should require men and women to clear the highest bar we can set. But would you pick Biden to run Tesla? Or Trump to run Apple? If you hesitated to answer, then you're onto something.

Yet, the presidential debates are treated like a game, one to determine who is the worst at being awful while sounding like they're actually great. We've been duped and we know it, and so do the guys who are duping us.

Biden has a sorry record as president

Biden is often incoherent and a rambling mess − except when he talks about his student loan forgiveness program, meant to bribe Gen Z voters who don't want to pay off their college loans like normal folks.

He has touted a great economy even though he stoked inflation with his Build Back Better program and other lavish initiatives that have added trillions in debt. Wages may be higher than four years ago, but that doesn't matter much to everyday people when essentials like groceries, gas and rent cost so much more.

Biden appears weak to our enemies, and he's got no problem with raising your taxes. Even for a Democrat, he can't possibly be the best nominee to represent his party.

I'm a Republican woman. Progressives are wrong about what I believe.

Trump is a felon who believes he's above the law

Trump, of course, is no better.

He's a narcissistic buffoon who's at once arrogant but insecure, a bully with thin skin, a "leader" who whines on social media all day long. He posits himself as the winner of the 2020 election, but none of his claims hold up in the courts or in the real world where facts still matter. He's running for the job of commander in chief, but repeatedly insults the men and women who sacrifice to defend our nation.

Think of military families: As a convicted felon, Trump isn't fit to lead America's military as commander in chief

A convicted felon, he also believes himself to be above the law.

And now we have to watch these guys blather on television, as if they are qualified and competent enough to lead this country. As if, out of more than 336 million Americans, there aren't better leaders who we could have thrown our support behind.

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I love politics, and I love our democratic republic. We pick; we decide. Such a novel idea. So inspiring and empowering: A republic, if we can keep it! I've never loved a concept more and I will always think the Founding Fathers' ideas were hopeful and brilliant.

But we the people are not always right. And neither are our leaders.

Now, a week away from our 248th Independence Day, we've picked two of the most pathetic politicians on the planet to represent us.

I have to watch the debate for my job. Thursday night, while I roll my eyes and text my family and friends sarcastic observations, I'll wonder: Who are these guys? How did they get here? And what does this say about us that one of them will lead our country for the next four years?

Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: How bad will the Trump vs. Biden debate be? Let me count the ways