Princess Anne Is Britain’s No-Nonsense Royal—and Loved for It

A kind of verbal meme has been circulating among friends of Princess Anne in the Cotswolds in recent days, after it was dramatically revealed that she had been whisked off to hospital with concussion—having been either kicked or butted in the head by one of her horses.

Imagining that a doctor or royal flunky had dared enter her hospital room and suggest the Princess Royal ease up on her equestrian pursuits, the affectionate joke consists of imitations of Anne sitting up in bed and delivering her response: “Not bloody likely!” A variation on the theme has her telling the cheeky blighter to, “Naff off!”

Both immortal phrases recall, to her devotees—especially fellow equestrians in her super-posh, horsey Cotswold set who regard her as a figurehead—what they consider to be her finest qualities.

Princess Anne May Not Have Dissed Trump. She’s Still a Royal Hardass.

The first remark was uttered on March 20, 1974, when a man forced a car carrying Anne and her then-husband, Captain Mark Phillips, to a halt on the Mall on the way to Buckingham Palace. The would-be kidnapper shot three men before pointing his gun at Anne herself and ordering her to get in his car. She refused.

“It was all so infuriating; I kept saying I didn’t want to get out of the car, and I was not going to get out of the car,” the princess later told officers. “I nearly lost my temper with him, but I knew that if I did, I should hit him and he would shoot me.”

As for, “Naff off,” it was her reported comment to photographers during the Badminton Horse Trials in 1982, although this was actually a bowdlerization by a cautious press corps; she actually told the newsmen, more plainly, to “fuck off.”

Both, however, are examples of her no-nonsense attitude, and a template for the uncompromising, don’t-be-so-bloody ridiculous approach she is known to take towards any suggestion she considers to be foolish in general. As a journalist from the Daily Telegraph who recently spent a week shadowing her (and estimated that she shook hands with almost 700 people and travelled over 800 miles) wrote, “Her own opinions are brief, delivered as common sense.”

Born on Aug. 15, 1950, Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise was the second child of the future Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Her status as their only daughter made her an object of intense global interest from an early age.

Although she is rumored to have been her father’s favorite child, she also forged a close bond with her mother, with the two connecting largely through their love of horses. Elizabeth’s friends often remarked that she would have pursued a career in the horse world had she been born into different circumstances, and Elizabeth encouraged Anne’s ambition on the field.

At 21, Anne won the European Eventing Championship, a discipline that combines dressage, cross-country, and show jumping. In 1976 she competed in the Montreal Olympic Games, making her the first member of the British royal family to compete in the Olympics. She was the only contestant granted an exemption from the gender verification tests that were required of female athletes for the Games that year.

Anne’s portrayal by Erin Doherty as a witty, sassy and resilient figure in the Netflix series The Crown helped introduce a new generation to her somewhat hidden charms. For example, prior to her marriage to Captain Mark Phillips in 1973, Anne—as The Crown dramatized—was reputed to have had a fling with Andrew Parker Bowles, who would go on to marry Camilla... who was also in a relationship with Anne’s brother, then-Prince Charles. Camilla would eventually ditch Andrew and marry Charles and become queen!

As the Mirror quoted a Palace insider: “She (Anne) was in pieces over Andrew’s marriage to Camilla. But she’s made of stern stuff. She sought out and found a photofit of Andrew, and married him.”

Phillips was a dashing figure in the equestrian world in his own right. The couple had two children, Peter (born 1977) and Zara (born 1981). The kids were not given HRH titles; although it has been widely reported this was because Anne turned them down, they were actually not eligible for them under the rules at the time as the children of a non-regnant royal daughter, but what is true is that Anne never lobbied for them to have titles and was content for them to not be HRHs.

She has said that their lack of titles enabled them to pursue their own careers and lead relatively normal lives, saying, “I think most people would argue that there are downsides to having titles... I think that was probably the right thing to do.”

There was reportedly much infidelity on her husband’s part, including a one-night stand with Heather Tonkin, a New Zealand art teacher, which resulted in the birth of a daughter, Felicity, in 1985. It was alleged that Mark left his riding boots outside the door of his hotel room so his date could find the right room.

Anne was reputed to have had affairs herself, with her married police protection officer, Detective Sergeant Peter Cross (as also seen on The Crown), and with Timothy Laurence, who was an equerry to the late queen, and who would became Anne’s second husband. (Anne and Phillips divorced in 1992, with Anne marrying Laurence just a few months later.)

Anne, resolutely, does everything her own way. Not for her a slavish following of fashion. She wears what she is comfortable in. In 2014, she wore a hat she had first worn in 1969. For many years—especially during the Diana era, when that princess brought such glamor to the royal roadshow—this led to mockery. Anne was perceived as the uncool royal buzzkill.

Witness an episode in Season One of the British sitcom Absolutely Fabulous where Edina (Jennifer Saunders) sighs disconsolately when it is revealed that no, Princess Diana is not coming to a cool charity event—Princess Anne has confirmed though. “The only label she knows is drip-dry,” Patsy (Joanna Lumley) snarls.

In 2002, Anne became the first member of the British royal family to be convicted of a criminal offense since King Charles I, after her dog attacked two children in Windsor Great Park. She pleaded guilty and was fined.

Today, Anne has emerged as a stellar, standout, and enduring royal performer. Often cited as the hardest-working royal, she routinely carries out 500 engagements per year and is the patron of over 200 charities and organizations. It is for her sense of duty and work ethic that Anne is celebrated—and her lack of flash now seems super-cool in an era of constant display and online self-promotion.

“People don’t believe they’ve experienced the event unless they’ve taken a photograph,” Anne once said of selfies. “I either don’t bother or just say, ‘I suggest you put that down.’”

She enjoyed social media fame of her own after she appeared to occupy a strategic seat at the coronation where a large ostrich feather in her hat almost entirely obscured Prince Harry from view (on TV at least). Sources insisted it wasn’t a deliberate attempt to airbrush Harry out of proceedings, but equally one imagines Anne would have been happy to undertake the task had she been asked.

Anne is thought to take a dim view of what some of their critics view as Harry and Meghan Markle’s dereliction of duty, and has been faultlessly loyal to her brother both as Prince of Wales and now king. Perhaps her only implied criticism of him has been her critique of the excessive “slimming down” of the royal family (which, ironically, has made her busier than ever).

Prior to Charles’ coronation, Anne told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation the slimming-d0wn proposal was originally floated “when there were a few more people around,” i.e. a few more working royals. She added: “It doesn’t sound like a good idea from where I’m standing, I would say. I’m not quite sure what else we can do.”

Well, Anne has just carried on carrying on, working hard and steadily, doughtily representing the royal family and supporting her brother. She will likely not enjoy in any way garnering the headlines for her head injury, and will also likely just want to get back work ASAP, health permitting.

Laurence, a former naval officer, also keeps a low profile but has found himself thrust into the glare of the spotlight since her accident. On visiting his wife in hospital Tuesday, he made a carefully calibrated statement to a well-wisher, saying, “She is recovering well, thank you. We are both profoundly grateful to the medical team and hospital support staff for their expert care, and to the emergency services who were all so wonderful at the scene. We are both deeply touched by all the kind messages we have received from so many people near and far. It means a great deal.”

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