These Patriarchal Trends Masking As ‘Culture’ Continue To Deny Women Their Dignity
Our culture is obsessed with men. At the centre of everything, it is the men who define the rules, laws, and structures of society. This misogynistic narrative is a result of years of regressive thought process and the fact that no one really stands up to question these patriarchal practices.
Sometimes, in the name of our culture, or to shadow their own insecurities, Indian men have – in one way or the other – always considered women inferior. They inherit this way of living from their ancestors, who too have constantly pushed women to a wall in the name of ‘sanskars’. While some might argue that things have changed, the need of the hour is to realise that even though we have reached the 21st century, our society still worships some of these beliefs that continue to bind women in the shackles of patriarchy.
Let’s take a deep dive:
‘Wearing short clothes is not our culture’
Many women and girls are told not to wear skirts because relatives are visiting. They are told not to wear a dress to the party which shows too much skin. They are told “that blouse is too deep”, and “that crop top is not the ‘appropriate’ length”.
People find creative ways to deny you the basic right to wear clothes of your choice – all in the name of culture.
The definition of a ‘decent girl’ in our country is extremely regressive and outdated. What makes the situation worse is that these rules apply only and only to women because after all, the length of their clothes decide her character and defines her family’s honour. This is the root cause of victim shaming when a girl gets raped and this is exactly how society justifies the crass cases of eve-teasing.
‘Marriage needs compromising, and YOU need to do that’
If you’re a married woman, chances are that almost everyone has guided, or should we say – misguided you by throwing this statement your way. Truth be told, marriage is when two people who like each other, believe in each other, understand each other and most importantly, respect each other, choose to spend their lives together. It is bad enough that a woman has to leave her house, her parents and move to the whole new house, and live with a whole new set of people, but telling her that she needs to compromise to make the relationship work is extremely unfair. Every relationship demands respect and equality, therefore, expecting a woman to bend all the time is not only backward, but it also gives rise to an extremely claustrophobic idea of marriage as an institution.
‘This is not how good girls behave.’
Let’s address the elephant in the room – how a girl should or should not behave. Society has its rules engraved in the stone when it comes to the ‘proper’ demeanour of a woman and how they should carry themselves in public. For instance, they shouldn't sit with their legs apart, they shouldn’t laugh with their mouths open, shouldn’t drink, shouldn’t hang out at night, and the list goes on.
We live in a country where condescending men are constantly pressuring women to dress a certain way and conduct themselves according to their will. It is disheartening to note that those who create these rules are breathing free, and it is the women who have to carry the load of society’s never-ending list of unrealistic expectations.
‘You have a baby now, that’s your priority. Work can wait!’
The whole concept of the father being the breadwinner and mother being the one who looks after the family has crippled our society. From facing judgement about working after marriage to facing criticism for choosing to work after embracing motherhood, women have gone through it all.
For centuries, our society has glorified the role of mother in a child’s life, which is why when a woman restarts her career after a long sabbatical or a maternity break, it often becomes a topic of debate.
This egalitarian community has oppressed women from time immemorial, and unfortunately, continues to do so.
(Edited by Kanishk Singh)
