August long weekend deserves a national name

Across our great country, usually-hard-working residents are taking a well-deserved day of rest, kicking their feet up and relaxing in the name of one holiday or another. The August long weekend offers most of us an extra day of respite. And we should celebrate that.

But while this Monday away from the office may seem like a glorious gift, it is also a landmine threatening to shatter our national unity with simmering discord.

While some rest comfortably in their hammocks in remembrance of John Graves Simcoe, others take long canoe trips in the name of their province, or slip in a game of golf under the auspice of celebrating various local heroes or various other guises.

Indeed, some aren't celebrating a long weekend at all. How can a country be united from coast to coast to coast when it can't even agree on the name of a holiday?

Here is a list of what the August Long Weekend is called across the country:

• British Columbia Day: British Columbia

• Heritage Day: Alberta

• Saskatchewan Day: Saskatchewan

• Simcoe Day: Toronto, Ont.

• John Gault Day: Guelph, Ont.

• Colonel By Day: Ottawa, Ont.

• Joseph Brant Day: Burlington, Ont.

• George Hamilton Day: Hamilton, Ont.

• Natal Day: Nova Scotia

• New Brunswick Day: New Brunswick

• Civic Holiday: Manitoba, P.E.I., Northwest Territories and Nunavut

[ Related: RCMP hitting the highways for long weekend ]

See? What a mishmash. In some cases, specifically B.C., New Brunswick and Saskatchewan, the holiday is statutory. In most others, it is a civic holiday. In Newfoundland, Quebec and Yukon, it is not a holiday at all.

We the people need to set aside our differences and come up with a solution. We need to unite and rise up in our mission to sit down and relax.

What to name it? Canada Day? Already taken. So perhaps Summer Day... although that seems a bit too on the nose.

August 4, 1914 was the day Britain, and by extension Canada and Newfoundland, entered World War 1. So perhaps we should call the August holiday Dominion Day, to mark our responsibility as a member of the Commonwealth. Although, that is the former name of Canada Day, so that could be confusing (and unlikely to curry favour with our Quebec brethren).

Another idea would be to name is after the North American Air Defense Agreement, which the Diefenbaker government signed in August of 1957. This, in a roundabout way, led Canada to abandon the Avro Arrow, a home-made aircraft considered a significant advancement in the aviation industry.

Defence Minister George Pearkes requested the cancellation of the Arrow project in August of 1958, although it became official in February 1959. So maybe is it more appropriate to rename a February holiday after the Arrow.

Less of a stretch would to rename the holiday after one of Canada's great military successes. On Aug. 5, 1812, Major General Isaac Brock launched a mission that concluded with the capture of Detroit.

I won't suggest a name for this. The obvious one, Detroit Downfall Day, seems too cruel considering our current relationship with the U.S., and the financial troubles Motor City currently faces.

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August 5 is kind of a key date in American history. It marks the death of Marilyn Monroe, the beginning of the construction of the Statue of Liberty and the first episode of American Bandstand, but that doesn't really help us at all.

Now, if you want to talk about Canadiana, we should look no further than our beloved hockey. Maurice "The Rocket" Richard was born on Aug. 4, 1921. But there is another, more pressing, moment in NHL history that happened on Aug. 8, 1988. It was the day of The Trade - when Wayne Gretzky was shipped from the Edmonton Oilers to the Los Angeles Kings.

In honour of that moment, we could call this holiday Gretzky Day, or Trade Day (which could also take a commerce connotation). Or perhaps Cry on National Television Day. Sorry Wayner.

The Globe and Mail recently urged readers to submit ideas for ideas on what this holiday should be named. Among the ideas were Camping Day, Harvest Day and Canadian Talent Day.

"Where would you rather be on that glorious mid-summer Monday than in a red Canadian canoe, on a quiet lake, early in the morning," Toronto's Susanne Hynes wrote in her pitch to have the day named Canoe Day.

Gordon Scott suggested naming the day after his neighbour, Jerry.

"He's a pretty good guy, lends you his lawnmower when yours cracks a blade, hands you a cold beer after you've been raking leaves all afternoon. And enjoys one with you without talking much," Scott writes.

Simcoe, Jerry or Gretzky, whatever the holiday is named, it translates into an extra day of rest for all of us.

Err, most of us. In their wisdom, some provinces have elected to pass on the whole thing, send their economic underlings back to work and, presumably, boost the local economic production by a billion per cent.

Which is smart. There are papers to be pushed and roads to hoe. The rest of us will be over here, kicking our feet up on a beautiful Jerry Day.

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