A ban on all physical contact between coaches and players in girls hockey league is definitely offside
A hockey player scores a spectacular goal. The crowd goes wild, the team erupts in celebration, and the player skates back to the bench to receive congratulations from teammates and the coaching staff.
What happens then? Well, if the player is a member of the Toronto Leaside Girls Hockey Association and the coach is a man, there’s a cautious smile and that’s about it.
Say what?
According to the National Post, that hockey league has decided to take a zero-tolerance stance on physical contact between players and coaches after a complaint about a male volunteer parent slapping the butt and squeezing the shoulders of a uniformed female player following a goal.
According to an email to team coaches from John Reynolds, the league’s EVP, the ban includes “putting hands on shoulders, slapping butts, tapping them on the helmet, NOTHING, this can make some of the girls uncomfortable and you won’t know which ones, so no contact, period.”
According to Leaside president Jennifer Smith, only fist bumping or high fives will be permitted.
“What we recommend, what Hockey Canada recommends, is you do a fist bump, a high five, end of story,” she said. “Not tapping kids on the head, because you tap a kid on the head, even if they’re wearing a helmet, you could conceivably give a kid a concussion.”
When I woke up this morning, I was pretty comfortable in the fact that I’d pretty much heard everything. Boy, was I wrong. This is beyond ridiculous.
There is a marked difference between a good touch – a pat on the helmet, a stick across the pads or even a one-arm hug – and an inappropriate touch.
When I played hockey – back in the days of leather helmets and horse-hair pads, I grant you – the best part of playing was the camaraderie and social relationships I developed with fellow players and coaches. I stunk at the sport, but I played for years just for the swat on the butt for the occasional goal, the hammer on the shoulder when I did something wrong and the pat on the helmet when I made a good play.
I mean, come on. I see more groping in a professional football game than I do on any given day in an amateur hockey rink.
And make no mistake; I’m not a touchy-feely guy. My personal space is measured in yards, not inches. I can count the number of hugs I’ve given in the last year. But still. Those little physical signals from my coach were fuel to keep going.
And all players – regardless of their sex – need them.
I agree with Dr. Michael Unger, the Dalhousie University social work professor quoted in the story.
“Do we really want a world where children are never touched in a friendly way by a stranger, and therefore can’t distinguish good touches from bad touches?”
No we don’t.
I'm not stupid, I know there have been incidents of sexual misconduct by coaches. But there is a marked difference between a good touch – a pat on the helmet, a stick across the pads or even a one-arm hug – and an inappropriate touch. Inappropriate touches are what parents are supposed to teach their kids to watch out for. Good touches are part of the camaraderie, the team spirit and the joy of playing a team sport.
In this case, the volunteer parent was wrong in slapping a girl’s butt, but it’s no reason to overreact. There’s no reason to shut down the league, ban hockey in Canada or ban any physical contact with players. All are ridiculous overreactions to an unfortunate event.
Kids and coaches want to play hockey and celebrate their successes. Not to always be worried about whether or not they are crossing some invisible physical boundary.
