Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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My fifth grade boyfriend got married yesterday and yes my sixth grade boyfriend was there. I just HOPE they didn’t make the night about ME— Katie Kershaw (@katie_newshoes) July 26, 2020
you can use chicken strips as money that is why they are called tender— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July 25, 2020
If you're over 35 whatever you're about to buy, you already have it. Two in some cases. Go look.— Janelle James (@janellejcomic) July 29, 2020
at the beginning of pandemic: I am going to get abs and learn to do the splits— I hope this is satire... (@sablaah) July 26, 2020
currently in pandemic: I should start smoking cigarettes
as someone born between christmas and new years I can’t pretend I take no pleasure in seeing the summer birthdays brought to their knees— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) July 28, 2020
If I was Maria and I was hearing them sing "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" at my wedding I would be like, why are you singing that mean song about me & why do all of you know it— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) July 26, 2020
I didn’t know how to say “pigeon” in Japanese so I just said “bird of garbage” and I think I got the point across— zoë “leonardo doujinshi” quinn (@UnburntWitch) July 27, 2020
The funniest thing ive ever seen in my life was whn this kid at a party pulled up his trust fund balance to impress me and my friends and my friend went “whoa let me see that” and then threw his phone across the room— helena (@freshhel) July 26, 2020
I miss being at a bar with friends and wishing I was at home.— Ego Nwodim (@eggy_boom) July 26, 2020
I feel like a lot of...