David Driver's snapping turtles broke free and made a slow dash for the nearest Summerville, Georgia, pond
If you're forced to chase after a stable of animal escapees, turtles are probably a safer bet than hares.
But a Georgia turtle farmer is still struggling to contain the damage after thieves made off with the property's scrap-metal fencing and 1,600 of his hard-shelled residents made a slow dash for the nearest pond to the tortoise-backed strains of Born Free.
David Driver told the Chattanooga Times Free Press that his business has been threatened by the loss.
Until he recovers the fugitives, he won't be able to supply clients with their reptilian orders. Driver sells some turtles to pet-growing operations and others to China.
He said one baby snapping turtle can fetch up to $7 a pop.
However, the Summerville-based farmer may want to consider himself relatively lucky.
Darcy, the attention-starved dairy cow, racked up a big fast-food bill in April after breaking out of her pen and hoofing it to a local McDonald's drive-thru. (We can only hope she wasn't starved enough to order a burger.)
And New Yorkers were likely checking under their seats for as long as Mia, the Bronx Zoo cobra, remained missing in action — at least those who weren't tracking her movements via the slithery snake's (fake) Twitter feed.
So far, the turtles have yet to charge anything to Driver's Visa account or join social media.
Plus, their scenic-route speed levels will likely help rescue teams recover most of the defectors.