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Man’s hilarious retirement email goes viral

One man’s retirement email is going viral after he laced the farewell with the ascorbic wit we imagine he employed throughout his long career.

The email was posted to the website Reddit by user danibrin under caption: “My dad and his touching retirement email…” It was posted just 10 hours ago and has already been viewed more than a million times.

It would appear that danibrin is armed with the same sarcastic sense of humour as his father, because the email is less touching and more bitingly sarcastic.

Dad starts off well enough:

“As many of you know, this is my last day at 3M after a long and, illustrious distinguished awesome ground-breaking, um, a really long career.”

But then he gets into into the suggestive metaphors:

“I can honestly say that I always did my best to push back the foreskin of technology.”

Thanks for the visual, dad.

Then he gets into workplace politics, by pointing out that not everyone in the office was a friend:

“I don’t want to lose contact with most of you but I put a few a-holes on the list, also. I thought that would make life more interesting. If you think you are one of them — you probably are.”

A sweet touch. Then, as expected, dad gets into the dad jokes.

“Feel free to pass this info on to anyone who wants to send me money. I wish you good luck running in to me in the future. I’ll be dead soon enough since I’m so old. Bye.”

While it’s not the most uplifting sign-off, there’s no doubt this retirement note is more entertaining than most, something that those commenting on the post seemed eager to express.

Writes Zomboromcom:

“This would be … refreshing in my workplace. Can we ask your dad to work there for a day and then quit?”

Danibrin assured other Redditors that his father will be quite busy in retirement — dad bought a second home complete with a fully equipped shop in the barn.

“He’ll never be bored again,” wrote Danibrin, who revealed his retired father was an automation designer.

We wish this anonymous father a long and happy retirement — and hope that plenty of people will be getting in touch to send money.