Now you can smell like the undead with Zombie for Him/Her cologne
Whether we like it or not, the zombies are here and here they shall remain until the last human cranium has been popped open, and its contents are slurped like the monkey brains entree in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Zombies are everywhere, and according to multiple experts, they’re here to stay as they’ve proved both culturally relevant (as in, we increasingly believe we’re doomed) and profitable (the latter partially explaining the former).
A good way to measure how deeply zombie culture has infiltrated the mainstream is the fact that companies are now marketing products to the undead demographic.
Well, the undead and their functionally breathing fans. For those who think there’s nothing sexier than a man who smells like a corpse in the process of necrosis, Demeter has launched Zombie for Him/Her, a pair of fragrances that promise to bring all the ghouls to the yard.
[ Related: Researcher says interest in zombies mirrors societal dissatisfaction ]
While you would imagine that the scent would be culled from the remnants of a mortuary, blended with a heady mix of litter box, the gym shoes of 1000 people with athlete’s foot and week-old garbage from the organic bin, the actual product is a little gentler.
Disappointing for some, perhaps, but the Demeter chemists have focused on the literal aspects of human decomposition, combining the smell of earth, moss, dried leaves, mildew and a few mushrooms just to provide a little extra kick of fungus.
For all the lumbering ladies, your version of Zombie includes a touch of "Dregs from the bottom of the wine barrel" because dregs are delicious and, apparently, feminine.
[ More Buzz: Jeff Gordon test drive video goes viral, deemed fake ]
Hurry up though, former humans who no longer have any need for concepts like structural time, because these bottles of olfactory delight will only be available until April 30. After that you’ll have to rely on your own natural scent of decay.
And it’s a good thing you no longer have any need for concepts like money either because these bottles don’t come cheap. A 4 oz. Cologne Spray will set you back $39.50 human dollars (plus tax and shipping).
You probably don’t have to tip the delivery guy if you eat his brains, though.
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