Do Women Take Failure Harder Than Men? Here’s Why, And How You Can Help
For centuries, women have been labelled as the weaker gender—the ‘submissive’ one. No matter how much she accomplishes or climbs up the hierarchical ladder of success, there will always be the inevitable comparison with what the man has already done or can achieve.
Considering how women take the ‘work plunge’ with twice as much effort, why is the gender imbalance still so prevalent when it comes to occupying the top spots? Is she afraid to take on the risks associated with increased responsibilities? Is it just fear of failure?
The answer to those questions can stem from how girls were raised, and more importantly, socialised and conditioned by years of patriarchy. The moment a woman deviates from the prescribed norm, one that outright demands her to never cross the imaginary lines around her, rampant criticisms are inevitably directed towards her.
She could commit a ‘mistake’ much like her male counterpart, but the repercussions for her would be twice as harsh as it would be for him. A recent incident might help shed better light on this double standard. After witnessing Serena William’s emotional outburst at the referee during the US Open finals (2018) for penalising her at a critical point in the match, the entire world criticised the legend’s juvenile behaviour, calling her entitled because she sought to play the victim by using the gender card against the male referee.
She was called out for crossing the line, something that was obviously caused by her ‘mood swings’ and some even went to the length of calling her a ‘hormonal mom who didn’t take her meds!’
On the other hand, much more recently, the world’s top-ranked male tennis player Novak Djokovic was caught in a somewhat similar incident in a US Open match (2020) when he smashed a ball right into a court official’s face, at a point in the match where he was down by several points. He did apologise for it, calling it an unfortunate error and not an act of aggression, and was also eliminated from the tournament.
But no fingers were pointed at his character and ethics when he apologised for it. The common view was that such an error deserved maybe a hefty fine, but not elimination. We must highlight here the difference in how acts of ‘aggression’ involving both the genders were perceived and analysed.
Women are conditioned to adopt a gentle, passive attitude. If she does fight for what she believes she deserves, demeaning comments are waiting to be served on a platter, with her entire personality being rewritten to suit the majority’s ego.
Popular Democrat Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasia Cortez has, on numerous occasions called out misogynist behaviour, be it from Ted Yoho for calling her several names, or for apparently being too outspoken and liberal, or even by the media running pieces on her choice of outfits, or dig out old clips of a college-going Cortez dancing to a peppy number while terming her as a ‘clueless nitwit’.
How does one not expect women in the workforce to be extra careful before they chose their word or take their next step? Baseless criticism stemming from centuries of patriarchal brainwashing takes a toll on the average working woman’s conscience that eventually mete out the way she carries, or rather is forced to carry herself and her work.
With this constant scrutiny about how they live, what they wear and even how they breathe, it is easy to see why a woman’s ‘failure’ is a very public spectacle. Intrinsic motivation is undermined at every level.
Eventually, women tend to strive for perfect results in everything they do. When criticised, the comments are taken personally. They internalise it and ruminate on it. Unlike males, who are always encouraged to fall, fail and get up again for the sake of excelling, women’s trajectories are determined by their first public failure.
Reasons why women take failure harder than men
Pressure to look the part
According to a Mental Health Foundations study (2019), it was inferred that 36% of women experienced high amounts of stress in workplaces because they weren’t comfortable with the way they looked and had an overall distorted body image. Women feel the need to look the part, more often than not developing the impression that this aesthetic is intrinsically linked with the image of success.
The odds aren’t in their favour
With the glass ceiling prevalent in almost every industry and the pronounced gender gap, it is harder for women to achieve as much as men. They seem to lag behind their male colleagues from the start of their career making it even more crucial for them to achieve.
Rare opportunities to shine
Women are rarely given chances to lead a team of employees for a magnum-opus kind-of project? It’s definitely not as much as it is for men. So, on the rare instances when women are given a chance to showcase their leadership qualities, the pressure is tenfold because what if this is the only chance they have? Thoughts like these surmount to excess pressure that can manifest into a bitter attitude towards failure.
This double standard that serves as the crux for rampant sexism in almost every industry has for years, been damaging and suppressing budding careers of women simply because they don’t go by the books, whose impact has deterred her motivation to become a risk-taker who can stand with courage and conviction rather than falling prey to glorified misogyny.
We can, however, start by revolutionising age-old socialisation methods and stop drawing lines around the young girl. Let her experience the ups and downs that are so natural to life and give her the space to cope and rise again.
(Edited by Neha Baid)
