So, How Do You Use Those Two-Button Toilet Flushes In Public Loos?
They say you learn something new every day, but usually that “something” is small and forgettable – such as “where your local Lidl stores the small bin bags” or “what your colleague’s niece’s birthday was like”.
Well, not so for me last Tuesday. I was scrolling through Twitter when I spotted this Tweet from user @AliceAvizandum:
every public toilet in the UK has a separate button for the Piss Flush and the Shit Flush but no-one has systematised this and sometimes you will encounter a design that feels like the three shells from Demolition Man
— Alice Podcasts (@AliceAvizandum) May 16, 2023
And not to be dramatic, but it’s permanently altered the molecular makeup of my brain.
I don’t know about you, but I had absolutely no idea that the weird two-part flushes you see on public loos had two water... volumes (?).
At first, I was scared to share this information. It feels embarrassing – damning, even. I saw it as the result of an unobservant eye and an uncritical mind.
Worse, it might imply I am an inadequate flusher (never!).
I knew I had to investigate further to see whether or not I was the only person in the country who didn’t know this, and my search took me to flush facts I’d never expected to see.
I may be flush-challenged, but I am very much not alone
Thames Water says that the double-button flush is confusing for 75% of Brits – “more than three-quarters of people (are) getting one toilet’s flush function the wrong way round”, they say of dual-flush loos.
Makes sense that I related to this Tweet reply – why not both?
So, what’s the deal with those flushes?
They’re water-saving dual-flush loos (again, I’m sure lots of you knew that, but this is new information for some of us!).
They’re meant to save water by using weaker flushes for smaller amounts of waste, and only bringing out the big guns for bulkier excreta.
Sounds good, but firstly, how am I meant to know that? (I didn’t grow up in the UK, and will be using this as an excuse going forward).
Secondly, the system you’d think the flush designers would use to distinguish these options is inconsistently applied.
Apparently, this reply is accurate: the logical bigger button = stronger flush answer does not hold up.
As Andrew Tucker, Thames Water’s water efficiency manager, says: “There are so many different types of toilet out there that it’s no surprise people don’t know which button to press”.
In fact, he adds, “In many cases, what seems to be the obvious option for a shorter flush actually uses the most water”.
Press times are counterintuitive, too. Apparently, holding a button down for longer does not always mean more water is released – “users assumed pressing the button once and releasing straight away was the shorter flush option, while in fact holding the button in for a few seconds used less water”, Thames Water says.
And on top of all THAT, a lot of these loos don’t even always save more water than sweet, sane lever flush options.
This is because they’re more prone to leaks, and yes, as this Twitter user reckons, our loo-side confusion does end up adding to the water waste.
So, I urge you now to join me in revolting against Britain’s dual-flush tyranny! (OK, that’s a bit extreme – but I would at least like some better signage, please and thank you).
