"Why Did I Call A Job Asking If They're Hiring And They Said No We're Firing LMFAOOOOOOO" — And 23 Other Hilarious Tweets From The Weekend
For some reason, the best tweets always seem to happen on weekends. Here are some funny ones that recently came across my timeline.
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1.
you hit one curb and they swear you can’t drive
— ube (@bbyube) June 21, 2024
2.
Oh I love her music! pic.twitter.com/TRQ4xlaVEG
— leafy lane 🏒🐭 (@leafylane16) June 22, 2024
3.
Exactly what a haunted house would say pic.twitter.com/MdG7SHb89A
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) June 21, 2024
4.
Not to expose myself for being dumb—but the vet told me my dog had a spot that might be a melanoma and the first words out of my mouth were “oh that does run in our family.” Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
— Caitlin Canahai (@caitlincanahey) June 21, 2024
5.
when you have to send your friend a formal work email pic.twitter.com/z9S3DFldhB
— lucy ford 🍊 (@lucyj_ford) June 21, 2024
Peacock / Twitter: @lucyj_ford
6.
Eating 100 grams of protein a day but I don’t lift so it’s going straight to my brain. Just remembered how to do long division
— serena shahidi (@glamdemon2004) June 20, 2024
7.
“would y’all slap me for—“ pic.twitter.com/bUZQsxDvZQ
— ❒ (@RlCKYRAGE) June 21, 2024
Berlanti Productions / ABC / Twitter: @RlCKYRAGE
8.
Rapunzel if she had twitter https://t.co/QaBwTTuhwr
— rheya ᯓ 🍉 (@amitheonlyone_n) June 21, 2024
9.
british people are like "i was in Uni" and they mean preschool or some bullshit idk im tired of their asses
— Anne Chovy (@AnneChovy2) June 21, 2024
10.
Atleast someone loves me and fights for me. I love u my white blood cells
— tahreemsuhail (@tahreeem_) June 21, 2024
11.
two dumb btches telling each other "exactlyyyyy" pic.twitter.com/lGzfajIkri
— ube (@bbyube) June 21, 2024
12.
Snap and Crackle after visiting the hospital https://t.co/LOjMyZGfN3
— James Topham (@JamesTophamWord) June 21, 2024
13.
Why did I call a job asking if they're hiring and they said no we're firing LMFAOOOOOOO
— naomi (@nomidrj) June 21, 2024
14.
you want me to turn 27? the number of dresses that killed katherine heigl??
— maddie rundlett (@madsruns) June 21, 2024
15.
me acting like the liquor not strong pic.twitter.com/2xv43aY3Mf
— Jhonny ⚹٭ (@JhonnyWhite69) June 20, 2024
Kai Cenat / Twitter: @JhonnyWhite69
16.
i was definitely born in the right era. i love being able to tell men to shut the fck up without being lobotomized.
— ube (@bbyube) June 21, 2024
17.
how it feels to live with your parents in your twenties pic.twitter.com/Zcon387tXw
— 🌟 (@peachcrises) June 20, 2024
Handout / Sag Harbor Police Department via Getty Images / Twitter: @peachcrises
18.
Is somebody gonna match my sleep 😩 https://t.co/myCvcKT9ro
— Dolly D 🌻 (@thevivianbanks) June 21, 2024
19.
20.
My nephew just told this man in Chipotle “My auntie’s body is NOT for your eyes!”I was feeling so protected & loved til I turned around to see the finest man I ever seen in my life.Gotta show my nephew a flow chart
— BBL Stephyy 🍑 (@stef_oh_nee) June 21, 2024
21.
me: hi, how can i help you?customers:pic.twitter.com/CrOPaciWYK
— mariana (@pastapilled) June 20, 2024
Soft White Underbelly / Twitter: @pastapilled
22.
Why is this filmed like an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians https://t.co/CfZ0WCFDMM
— Sophie Thompson (@sophxthompson) June 21, 2024
Brics News / Twitter: @sophxthompson
23.
this is how it feels to be 16 and your best friend just got their license and you are going to Taco Bell pic.twitter.com/CxHxUEk8dG
— 7/11 Truther (@DaveMcNamee3000) June 20, 2024
Brics News / Twitter: @DaveMcNamee3000
24.
The 16 year old kid bagging my groceries asked me how my day was going and I said “can’t complain” and he responded “probably wouldn’t do any good if you did” and honestly that kid is a straight shooter with upper management potential written all over him.
— Ryan, Perdido en TX (@RyanLostinTX) June 20, 2024
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