The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Nov. 19-25)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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He’s only your fiancé if he comes from the Fiancé region of France. Otherwise he’s just your sparkling boyfriend. A brosecco.
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) November 22, 2022
sir your son is butt ass naked in the street pic.twitter.com/ncOfkBopzY
— trash jones (@jzux) November 19, 2022
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) November 21, 2022
now why would I buy a pie from a professional baker when I can spend 17 hours and $100 making something I’ve never made that might not turn out
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) November 23, 2022
Im on my burner commenting “thank you for normalizing nose hair !” on his girlfriends tiktoks
— helena (@freshhel) November 20, 2022
I think today I will go and wander around a suburban target and buy myself a few trinkets I think this will cure me of all ills
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 19, 2022
On my flight today I woke up from a nap & an attendant was walking down the aisle holding a pug, saying “we found this pug. Whose pug is this??” And for 3 hours we all just took turns holding the mystery pug until a verrrry stoned man in the last row woke up & was like “Roscoe?!”
— Laura Peek at Helium Indy Dec 10-11 (@laurapeek_) November 19, 2022
"what do you want for your birthday?"
me: *forgets everything i've ever wanted in life*— B ⛤ (@buhlesrevenge) November 22, 2022
I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat? pic.twitter.com/qazdB31z9I
— Ez (@ezzzzzzx) November 25, 2022
I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) November 19, 2022
My Mom just asked me if I would be sitting with the "young people" for Thanksgiving. Pray for me during this period of transition. It may be time to finally, officially, get involved in grown folks' business.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) November 23, 2022
Why does the gen z character in white lotus dress like the cool hunk in a 90s teen movie I am weeping 😭 pic.twitter.com/hK73E4HpZb
— Lydia Kiesling (@lydiakiesling) November 21, 2022
Haven’t felt normal since the Cincinnati Zoo put out an official statement that Fiona the hippo is fucking her mother’s husband so they have her on hippo birth control
— Emily Faye (@mlefaye) November 21, 2022
There is a tweet sitting in my drafts that just says “If Scooby Doo was Catholic” and I wish for the life of me that I could remember what the rest of that genius thought was
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) November 25, 2022
Didn’t realize the descendants was a Disney show and thought my 9 year old niece was just a big fan of the George Clooney movie about his wife’s death and family’s land in Hawaii
— broti gupta (parody) (@BrotiGupta) November 22, 2022
So embarrassing when you drink water and some spills on your face. Like wow yes maybe next time I’ll drinking directly from a trough like a hog
— charlotte (@charlotte_gggg) November 22, 2022
when my nephew says the bad word i taught him: pic.twitter.com/oZKGfeYFdq
— PYPER🫐 (@badbbyaera) November 21, 2022
Knives Out is a Thanksgiving movie because it’s got a primarily brown, cool-toned color palette, it takes place in fall and it’s about discovering just how racist your family can possibly be
— Lady Emily (@GreatCheshire) November 24, 2022
My dad was calling the cat bad so my mom said, "She's not meant to be good. She's meant to look beautiful."
— Ali (@eIfcup) November 23, 2022
me telling my mom a secret:
my mom the next day: pic.twitter.com/7Kx5RVRGge— Invis🍒 (@invis4yo) November 23, 2022
every teen actor is named "mckenna rachel grace" or "jonah dupont-rupont"
— amelia elizalde (@ameliaelizalde) November 19, 2022
“But you’re on Twitter “….I don’t care if I was on the news. I’ll reply when I reply.
— Nicole (@Nicoleally_) November 20, 2022
This is what an ACTUAL war on Christmas looks like. pic.twitter.com/f7G8E22sw3
— Sonia Van Meter (@bourbonface) November 20, 2022
the only dating advice my mother has ever given me is to ask them to explain what IPA stands for, and honestly, it's 100% effective
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) November 23, 2022
one glass of wine and i become a whore for pressing the little heart on ppl’s ig stories
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) November 25, 2022
There’s never been a more confusing time for women to buy jeans.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) November 21, 2022
I thought this was a photo of Biden sitting spread eagle atop his chair back and now you have to see it, too https://t.co/ThSUgm4gKP
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 21, 2022
the best tv shows are Women Detectives In Gorgeous Coats Who Never Let Anyone In Emotionally… Until They Do
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) September 9, 2022