Gabrielle Union reveals she was 'broken' after Dwyane Wade fathered child in new memoir

“You Got Anything Stronger?” by Gabrielle Union.
“You Got Anything Stronger?” by Gabrielle Union.

Gabrielle Union is opening up about how she felt "broken" after Dwyane Wade conceived a child with another woman amid her infertility struggles.

"I have not had words, and even after untold amounts of therapy, I am not sure I have them now. But truth matters," Union writes in new memoir "You Got Anything Stronger?" (Dey Street Books, 256 pp., out now), the follow-up to her 2017 bestseller "We’re Going to Need More Wine."

It was one of many revelations Union made in her latest memoir, which takes a deep dive into past traumas that have shaped her into the unapologetic woman she is today.

"I am not the same woman I was when I wrote to you four years ago," Union writes. "If you thought you knew me then, you are not alone. I thought I knew me, too."

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From struggling to accept surrogacy to forgiving Wade for having a child with someone else, here are four revelations from Union's latest memoir. 

Union says she was 'broken' after Dwyane Wade 'had a kid with somebody else'

Wade fathered a child with another woman in 2013 during a brief split with Union prior to the couple's 2013 engagement. Union said they were "not in a good place" when the child was conceived but noted they were in a "much better one" when Wade told her.

Union and Wade chose to work through their issues privately, going on to tie the knot in August 2014 in a large ceremony in Miami, but Union said she struggled with the "trauma" and "embarrassment" behind closed doors as she was trying to conceive.

"To say I was devastated is to pick a word on a low shelf for convenience," she wrote. "The experience of Dwyane having a baby so easily while I was unable to left my soul not just broken into pieces, but shattered into fine dust scattering in the wind."

Union said she chose to "love him and forgive him" after Wade "worked to be forgiven" each day, but the actress questioned whether she would've made a different choice now.

"The advice I would give myself now is to leave," she wrote. "The me of today would not have stayed with him, but would I be who I am now without that pain?"

Union says her adenomyosis went undiagnosed for decades because of her age

Union first opened up about her fertility struggles in 2017's "We’re Going to Need More Wine," but the actress said all the nuance and pain she shared about her journey to motherhood was simplified to a brief excerpt.

"It seemed every article about me used the phrase I had offered: 'I have had eight or nine miscarriages,'" Union said. "This was always followed closely by my age."

Not only did the media fixate on her age, Union said doctors didn't fully investigate her  "unexplained infertility" because she was an "older woman" in her 40s. She was diagnosed in 2016 with a "pronounced" case of adenomyosis that likely started in her 20s.

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What exactly is that?  Gabrielle Union says she probably can't get pregnant because of adenomyosis

Adenomyosis occurs when the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows into the muscular wall of the uterus, according to Mayo Clinic. Union said she felt "clarity, relief and grief" to have answers, but endocrinologist Dr. Kelly Baek told her, "I don't know how anyone would have missed this."

"There would be anger that I had sat in the offices of the world’s leading IVF doctors, and all they saw was my age," Union wrote. "There was no investigation into any other cause for my miscarriages, and I was never correctly diagnosed or treated."

Surrogacy felt like 'acknowledging my body's failure,' Union says

Union and Wade welcomed their "miracle" daughter Kaavia, now 2, by surrogate in 2018, but Union said it took her over a year to "make peace" and accept the surrogacy route because she felt like "a failure" for not carrying her herself.

"Choosing surrogacy would be acknowledging an 'L,'" she wrote. "I felt the constant, public prodding to acknowledge my body’s failure."

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The couple chose a married, white woman named Natalie as their surrogate. She even had a nose ring. ("Oh, I thought, she's a cool-ass white girl.") But Union said she never fully connected with Natalie and Kaavia during the pregnancy: "This growing bump everyone thought I wanted to see was now visual manifestation of my failure…I kept (the baby) at arm’s length, because she could still be snatched away."

Union said that feeling has been replaced with gratitude and relief since Kaavia's birth, but a lingering question remains: "I will always wonder if Kaav would love me more if I had carried her."

In addition to Kaavia, Union and Wade are raising Zaire, 19, Zaya, 14, and Xavier, 7, Wade's kids from previous relationships, and his 19-year-old nephew, Dahveon.

Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade welcome 'miracle baby' via surrogate amid fertility struggles

'I am so, so sorry' Isis: Union regrets 'Bring It On' character

Union's portrayal of Isis, the cheerleading captain of the East Compton Clovers in "Bring It On," catapulted her career, but the actress says she should've done things differently.

"I'm here to apologize to you," she wrote to her character, Isis. "I failed you and myself."

Kirsten Dunst, left, and Gabrielle Union, in a scene from the motion picture "Bring It On."
Kirsten Dunst, left, and Gabrielle Union, in a scene from the motion picture "Bring It On."

After landing the role in the 2000 film, Union said she took on the responsibility of altering "the script day-of to avoid the embarrassing dialogue that was initially written" for Isis. She said she was given free range, but chose to muzzle her character's rage after the Toros committed cultural appropriation and stole the Clovers' cheer routines.

Union says she embedded her own fear of being accepted into Isis, who was ultimately villainized for "holding white folks accountable" despite her restraint and grace.

"I made you swallow your anger to be the most palatable version of Black leadership possible," she wrote. "I wish I had just given you the space to be a Black girl who is exceptional without making any kind of compromise."

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Gabrielle Union 'broken' after Dwyane Wade fathered child