How good friends and a Christmas gift helped stop a suicide
Renée Druggett is not a big fan of Christmas, but a gift she received in 2017 has changed her outlook on the holidays, and life in general.
The 43-year-old single mother has struggled with depression for years, but only recently revealed to everyone around her what was going on.
"People thought I was this confident, happy woman, but it's a mask we wear. So, finally on Dec. 2, I had my — what you would call — the last straw, I guess, the breaking point," she said.
In early December, Druggett wanted to commit suicide. She made a plan, which included writing goodbye notes to her daughter, Kaelie, and her close friends.
"I was so at peace with myself, so at ease. I knew the pain was finally going to be gone," she told CBC News.
A friend in need
Her plan included a final stop at a friend's house. "I needed to tell her because I wanted to make sure Kaelie was going to be fine," she said.
Fortunately, Druggett's friend, Kelly Carew, had the mental health training to recognize the warning signs.
"I remembered that one of the things I learned was to ask if the person has a plan," Carew said. "She told me what she was going to do and I knew she was serious."
As luck would have it, Druggett and Carew's mutual friend is a dispatcher with the RCMP. Carew convinced Druggett to go for a coffee and said she had to stop for gas. Carew went in to pay for the fuel and secretly called their friend and asked her to send help. Shortly after they arrived home, members of the Mobile Crisis Unit showed up.
Carew recalls Druggett getting very upset because she had called the police. "I can't believe you did that," she said to Carew, who responded, "I'm sorry, but I'm not. You needed to be safe."
The Waterford stigma
Carew said Druggett reluctantly agreed to get in the police cruiser with her, but became even more agitated when she realized they were going to the Waterford Hospital.
Druggett, who works in real estate, said she worried about how future clients would react.
"I was afraid they would recognize me and see the woman with a mental illness."
Several decades of silence about her internal struggle were about to be released.
Druggett did not want to get into details, but said she endured physical, sexual and emotional abuse as a child, and the emotional and physical abuse was repeated in her adult life.
"I have had many happy days and moments, but really truly happy? Probably not," she said in a moment of reflection.
A gift to herself
Druggett's stay in hospital would last for almost seven weeks, including through Christmas. "It was a very dark time," she said.
While she usually struggles during the holiday season, Druggett said this past year was particularly hard. There was financial stress and a personal relationship that didn't go well.
"It escalated for me, so I thought it was my time to go," she said.
Being in hospital over the holidays didn't help. "Christmas Eve night I was there by myself and it just confirmed and validated to me that I was really alone."
She decided to wake up the next morning, check herself out of the hospital and follow through with the plan to kill herself.
Instead, Druggett remembers being awakened by a smiling nurse who excitedly said, "Santa just came."
What happened next was a turning point. The nurse handed out gift bags to the other four ladies in the room. The first woman opened her present and said, "Oh my god, I got a purse," and then the second one said, "Me too."
Druggett was handed a purse too, filled with products for women. It was a gift that came, indirectly, from herself.
Two and a half years earlier, knowing all too well the struggles of a single mother, Druggett brought the charitable initiative Princess and the Purse to this province.
She and several co-workers had gathered more than 1,200 purses for women at Christmas and now she was seeing the impact first-hand.
"It was amazing. I get goose bumps just thinking about it," she said with a wide smile. "I saw the gratitude and excitement."
The road to recovery
Druggett said being alone weighs heavily on the mind of someone who is depressed. So, on the advice of friends, and craving unconditional love, she rescued two small dogs.
"They give me so much love no matter what is going on," she said.
But she knows that affection won't fix everything. There will be many months, if not years, of counselling and therapy.
In the end, the irony of that unintentional Christmas gift to herself is not lost on Druggett. She said she can't wait for next year, to give out purses again.
That work will continue to be part of her recovery. She also plans to spend time focusing on making sure others do what she did — reach out to someone for help.
"I'm very glad I did that, it saved my life."
Anyone needing help can call the Mental Health Crisis Line: 709-737-4668 (local) or 888-737-4668 (toll-free)
