This 26-Year-Old Refused To Buy His Girlfriend A $10,000 Engagement Ring Because She's Not "Worth It"

Alright, I'm not going to lie. Diamonds can be expensive, but there are affordable options out there. So, if there comes a time in your life when you're wanting or shopping for a diamond engagement ring, the best thing you can do is discuss a budget with your partner and figure out what works best.

A couple, smiling joyfully at the beach, with the woman showing off a ring on her finger, likely indicating an engagement
Cecilie_arcurs / Getty Images

What you absolutely SHOULD NOT do is take this route, shared by Redditor Dry-Body-7578, or Dry for short. Here's the story:

"I’ve (26, male) been with my girlfriend (26, female) for four years and we’ve recently been talking more and more about marriage. Although my GF grew up relatively well off, for the time I’ve known her, she’s been pretty low maintenance. She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewelry she owns was gifted to her. I have a decent job now ($80k a year), and I’ve been saving for a while, but growing up, my family didn’t have a lot of money."

"My GF and I have always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money. I assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring. When I started looking into rings, I discovered moissanite rings, which look similar to diamond rings but are much more affordable. I was looking at rings in the $1,500–$1,800 range," Dry explained.

"When I mentioned this to her, she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring and sent me links to a bunch of diamond rings that she liked. The prices ranged from $6,500–$10,000. I told her that I wasn’t willing to spend that much," he continued.

"She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t 'that expensive.' We got in a pretty big argument over it. I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much and that I thought she was more reasonable than that. She said I was being cheap and that I could afford it, and that I was basically saying she wasn’t worth it. I told her no one is worth a 10,000 ring."

"Eventually, my GF said she didn’t care and that I should get whatever ring I want, but she’s clearly still mad, and I know this is going to be an ongoing argument. I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her, but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring."

"So I talked to my older sister about it who, despite agreeing diamond rings were stupidly priced, sided with my GF and said if I could afford it, she didn’t see the big deal. She added that my GF has done 'so much' for me, and I was being an asshole about this."

"What my sister means by my GF 'doing so much for me' is that she was really supportive when I was in a serious car accident four years ago. I broke multiple bones and required a few surgeries. Although, where I live, most healthcare is covered, I was unable to work for a while and had expenses I wasn’t able to pay. I had been dating my GF for only six months at the time, and she was really there for me. I couldn’t pay my rent so she let me move in with her for free and helped pay for a few expenses and the physical therapy I needed."

"She also helped me get a job with her uncle, who was the VP of an insurance company (It was an entry-level position, and I had a business degree, so it’s not like I was unqualified).

Obviously, I’ve thanked her for all she did for me, but it’s not something we talk about much. I don't think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago. But if my own sister said this, I’m guessing my GF must feel the way as well. AITA here?"

After reading the post, commenters agreed that there was so much to unpack, and every conclusion led to Dry being the asshole.

A woman in a white off-shoulder wedding dress with pearl and red gemstone jewelry, looking unhappy. Text overlay: "I'M NOT HAPPY"

First and perhaps most obvious, it was not a great move for Dry to essentially put a price tag on his girlfriend.

"You're the asshole because... You have to understand that from her perspective, you are telling her, 'I know you want this diamond, but I don’t think you are worth the money and I want to give you a cheaper alternative to what you want even though I can afford to give you the one thing that you asked for,'" Spinnabl said. "Especially since you came at the angle that moissanite is a cheaper, similar gem. I’m sure it would be different if you had brought it up like... 'I know you think diamonds are pretty, but I know you also care about ethical sourcing and sustainability, why don’t we look at some alternatives?' Instead, you came from a purely financial standpoint, which very easily comes off as 'you’re not worth this much money.'"

"You're the asshole," kokobrii agreed. "Not because you want to spend less on a ring. I believe you guys can find a happy medium somewhere in there if you tried. You're the asshole because you said she wasn't worth that amount."

"You are supposed to love her and you literally gave her worth a monetary value of less than $10,000. That had to have hurt her horribly. I hope you apologized for that."

By his own acknowledgment, we know Dry's girlfriend is not a materialistic person. So her desire for a diamond ring shows it's clearly important to her—likely because it represents their relationship and she hopes to wear it forever—and he should respect that.

"This is a ring she’s going to be wearing 24/7 for the rest of her life. That is a HUGE deal. By your own admission, she’s not a materialistic person; this is just the one thing she wants. $6000 spread out over the next 60+ years is absolutely a worthy investment for your future wife," an anonymous user wrote. "It’s not about you owing her for her helping you. She did that because she loves you. This girl never asks for anything; you should be doing this because you love her. It would be different if you straight up couldn’t afford it, but clearly you can."

And don't even get me started on how she saved him a huge sum of money by covering his medical bills, providing free housing, and getting him a job in his career field. She literally invested her time, money, and emotional energy into their relationship, but he won't get her the one thing she asked for – aka a ring he can afford.

"Her covering for you after your accident and letting you live with her for free was a big deal, especially since you hadn't been together that long. Now, I don't think that obligates you to pay for the ring, mostly because I think it's just what you do when somebody you care about needs help and you can help them. However, it does prove that she's there for the good and the bad and that she has your back, which is something everyone wants to believe about their partner, but few get a chance to have it proven to them the way you did," wmciner1 said.

"You're the asshole a bit," lurker7777777lol agreed. "Your thoughts seemed reasonable until you told the part of the story where you lived off her for months, and she covered your expenses. Get the ring she wants and apologize for not seeing it sooner."

"You said, 'I don't think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago.' My man, your GF isn't obligated to marry you," J0sey_W4les_23 added.

I don't know, y'all. If I was proposing to someone, I would want them to feel as loved as they've made me feel throughout our years together, and if a diamond ring was within my means, it'd be included. But what are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments.