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'Harry Potter' star Jason Isaacs reveals he had a 'decades-long love affair with drugs'

"Harry Potter" star Jason Isaacs is coming clean.

Isaacs, who portrayed Lucius Malfoy in the "Harry Potter" film series, revealed that he had a "decades-long love affair with drugs" during an interview with the U.K.'s The Big Issue for its "Letter to My Younger Self" series.

"I’ve always had an addictive personality," Isaacs said. "By the age of 16 I’d already passed through drink and was getting started on a decades-long love affair with drugs."

Isaacs said his struggle with addiction started with alcohol, which is commonly referred to as a gateway drug. The actor added that he first got intoxicated at age 12.

"The barman, who we thought at the time was a hero and I now realize belonged in prison, sneaked us a full bottle of Southern Comfort," the actor recalled. "We drank the entire thing in the toilet, then staggered out into the party, reeling around farcically. I vomited, fell on and pulled down a giant curtain, snogged a girl, god bless her … ran out into the street, vomited again, tripped, smashed my head open on the pavement and gushed blood all over my clothes."

He continued: "The next morning, I woke up with a splitting headache, stinking of puke, with a huge scab and the memory of having utterly shamed myself. All I could think was … 'I cannot (expletive) wait to do that again.' Why? I’ve no idea. Genes? Nurture? Star sign? I just know I chased the sheer ecstatic joy I felt that night for another 20 years with increasingly dire consequences."

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Jason Isaacs, who played Lucius Malfoy in the "Harry Potter" film series, says he started drinking at age 12.
Jason Isaacs, who played Lucius Malfoy in the "Harry Potter" film series, says he started drinking at age 12.

At his lowest point, Isaacs said he felt "broken" when he cared more about his drug habit than the well-being of his close friends and family.

"I remember there being a moment, not long before I got clean, when it suddenly occurred to me that if everybody I knew died, literally every single person, I probably wouldn’t mind that much," he said. "In fact, I might like it, because then it would be an excuse to sit in a room by myself and take drugs and everybody else would say, 'Well you know, fair enough, you heard what happened didn’t you?' "

Isaacs, 57, said he now manages to "find simple happiness in simple things" while sober.

“I think what would surprise the 16-year-old me is that I’m OK," he added.

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Harry Potter' star Jason Isaacs says he had 'love affair' with drugs