International students call for queer-specific mental support as they hide identities at home

In Canada, Yatharth Sethi is a queer 22-year-old studying computer science who likes to cook with their partner on the weekends.

But at home in India, Sethi plays the role of a straight person, looking forward to marriage and having kids.

"It is extremely hard. Every time I have to visit my home country, there is a major identity crisis and I have to constantly switch between who I am and who I have to pretend to be," said Sethi, not their real name. CBC News has agreed to keep Sethi's identity confidential due to safety concerns that the source might face back in India.

Many queer international students have to wear a "mask" the minute they go back to their home countries. They are forced to go back into the closet, adhering to the societal conventions of their countries.

The issue is top of mind as Canadian universities are welcoming a cohort of new and returning post-secondary students from around the world for the fall semester. Canada is one of the world's most sought-after markets for international students, attracting almost 800,000 in 2022 alone.

At the same time, many countries are becoming more hostile to LGBTQ individuals. In Nigeria, for instance, police arrested more than 60 people in a raid on an apparent same-sex wedding early Monday, while Ugandan authorities are for the first time charging a man with "aggravated homosexuality," an offence that can be punishable by death under the country's anti-LGBTQ legislation.

Ugandan MP John Musila wears clothes with an anti-LGBTQ message as he enters the parliament to vote on a harsh new anti-gay bill on March 21, 2023. (Ronald Kabuubi/AP)

It could be religious doctrines condemning homosexuality, cultural values that emphasize traditional family structures, and legal systems that criminalize the LGBTQ+ community. As a result, queer international students might find themselves in situations where they need to suppress their authentic selves and adopt a different persona.

'I have to hide myself when I am in conversations'

Sethi is not the only one. Ahmed Jarb, a 23-year-old queer international student from Palestine, raised the concern of micro-analyzing one's behaviour to hide their sexual identity from family back in Palestine.

"It definitely is strange because you're living [in Canada], a certain life, and then you go [to Palestine], and you live another life…You have to be really careful who you're talking to, what you say, things you don't say," said Jarb, not their real name. CBC News has agreed to keep their identity confidential due to safety concerns.

Sethi says visits back to India include making up a fake girlfriend so that relatives do not get suspicious.

"I have to hide my identity. That's your biggest thing. I have to hide myself when I am in conversations … It feels kind of claustrophobic in the sense that I am isolated, I don't belong here."

A gay Ugandan man covers himself with a Pride flag as he poses for a photograph in Uganda in March 2023. (AP)

Kamal Al-Solaylee, the director of the School of Journalism, Writing and Media at the University of British Columbia who identifies as gay, was an international student from Yemen in London during the 1980s when homosexuality was still punishable by death in Yemen.

"When I used to go back to Yemen as an international student, I used to retreat back into the closet," Al-Solaylee said. "It was a survival skill."

The struggle to stay true to one's identity when being pushed to go back in a closet can be complex.

When asked about what ways he preserved this part of his identity when he went back to Yemen, Al-Solaylee answered, "I held on to English really tight. This was when I read a lot and listened to BBC World Services and watched American movies and British dramas. My rebellion was to make Arabic a second language."

Kamal Al-Solaylee, director of UBC's School of Journalism, says when he was an international student in the United Kingdom, he chose to communicate primarily in English rather than Arabic as a way to maintain his identity as a gay man. (Gary Gould)

Little attention on queer international students' challenges 

There have been a great deal of reports on homophobic discrimination against queer students in Canada, such as the first national climate survey on homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia in Canadian schools called the Egale report .

Yet, the issues and challenges that international queer students face have "received little or no attention," according to Elizabeth S. Patrick from The University of Western Ontario in their thesis Investigating the Experiences of Queer International Students.

Struby Struble, co-ordinator of the University of Missouri's LGBT Resource Center, says a "double barrier" exists for overseas students who are members of the community. When they are among their international student friends, they feel alienated because they are members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ group, and when they are on campus, they feel isolated because they are international students.

"The queer student from here doesn't have to think about immigration, doesn't have to think about getting a house or supporting themselves financially because they live with their parents, for example. Whereas queer international students obviously need to think about their identity and relationships and all that," said Jarb.

The burden it comes with is the never-ending play of "code-switching," which refers to when people from underrepresented groups — consciously or unconsciously — adapt their language, syntax, grammar, behaviour, and appearance to fit into the dominant culture.

"I experience having to 'code switch' due to Colombia and, in general, Latin America being very homophobic and historically hetero-centric places," says Freddy Mendoza who came from Colombia to study film production at Vancouver Film School in 2014.

"This is something that, as a Canadian, I have experienced here as well. It may come as a surprise, but the reality is that even when we don't experience discrimination in the same way or level here, we still have similar experiences."

Universities' mental health support uneven, queer students say

International queer students say they are fighting to stay true to themselves without gambling away their security.

Jarb says universities, in most cases, can do more to support students.

"There have been cases in Palestine wherein my friends who visited Palestine had to undergo the wrath of their families and the universities they were from did not offer any help," Jarb says.

When asked about what role universities should play in helping international queer students, Jarb responds, "I do think there should be some kind of assistance program. I know they provided a similar program for students from Ukraine. There's some hypocrisy in their policies, like who gets the support and who doesn't get support."

UBC offers counselling and resources for students in need but none of them are queer community-focused, according to some queer international students. (Ben Nelms/CBC)

UBC offers counselling and resources for students in need but none of them are focused on the queer community.

"Not that I'm undermining people who get support from UBC, but I do think when you're making a statement of solidarity, for example, you should make it with all communities, especially queer international students," says Jarb.

In an email statement to CBC News, Noorjean Hassam, UBC's vice-president for student health and well-being, says  all counsellors at the university have received training to effectively assist students from diverse backgrounds, with some focusing on support for international students with intersecting identities.

Hassam also highlights UBC's ongoing efforts to hire a counsellor specifically dedicated to supporting queer students.

"If there are specific gaps in what UBC is able to offer, we work with students on referrals to the community, and are exploring the establishment of memorandums of understanding with community practitioners to augment our capacity," she said.

The Vancouver-based LGBTQ advocacy group QMUNITY also connects queer international students seeking help with counsellors who have personal experience in this area, according to Keitu Malatsi, the organization's volunteer co-ordinator.

Malatsi, a self-identified queer international student from South Africa who studied at UBC from 2017 to 2022, says that while she utilized the university's counselling services, there was a significant deficiency in the availability of counsellors with lived experience as queer individuals of colour.

She expressed skepticism about significant improvements in UBC's support for queer international students in the near future.

"I cannot trust that they're actually doing a lot of effort to be better. The response is always very minimal from UBC — and it's very telling to students," Malatsi said.