Kate Middleton Surprises Other Parents with This Relatable Mom Move at Birthday Parties (Exclusive)

The Princes of Wales has a natural way of connecting with local kids

As future queen, Kate Middleton's power is rooted in her family — and her crucial role in shaping the next generation of royals.

When it comes to raising the future of the monarchy, Princess Kate and Prince William are trying to bring up their children Prince George, 10, Princess Charlotte, 8, and Prince Louis, 5, in as normal an environment as possible given their extraordinary life.

That means watching George play soccer on his school team and catching Charlotte’s field hockey games as they happily chat with other parents on the sidelines, insiders tell PEOPLE in this week's issue.

In Norfolk, where they retreat to their country home, Anmer Hall, they attend birthday parties with their kids — and Kate has surprised locals by remembering all the neighboring kids’ names.

“She is very good at setting boundaries, which helps keep everything running smoothly. But the family is the priority, always,” a friend tells PEOPLE.

Related: George, Charlotte and Louis Volunteer at Baby Bank with Mom Kate in Private Family Outing: See Video

The Princess of Wales’ loved ones were front and center at her third annual carol concert on Dec. 8, which they attended as a family of five for the first time.

As Kate confidently led Prince William and their children into Westminster Abbey for the event, it was her time to shine. Already seated in the Abbey were her parents, Carole and Michael Middleton, sister Pippa and extended members of the royal family, who all showed their support on her big night. The absence of King Charles, 75, and Queen Camilla, 76, signaled that this was Kate’s crowning moment, as she and William, both 41, were the most senior royals in attendance.

“She is carving out a special place for herself, which is celebratory,” royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith tells PEOPLE.

Related: What Kate Middleton and Prince William Are Trying to Say with Their 2023 Family Christmas Card

Like other royal consorts in history, Kate has developed a toughness behind the scenes as she supports her husband and future king William. “She has this public image of being nice and smiley and, dare I say, innocuous,” says royal author Valentine Low. “But she is actually strong-minded, strong-willed and prepared to fight for what she wants and what she thinks is right.”

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It's an ethos she's instilling in her children as well. A few weeks before Christmas, she took George, Charlotte and Louis to a donation drive near their home in Windsor.

“You're the volunteers for this evening," she told them as they sorted through clothes and toys for children in need. At the end of their shift, she put her arm around George’s shoulders and said, "You can see how rewarding this kind of work is knowing you are helping out others." 

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