I know almost nothing about NBA basketball but I’m riveted by Kings vs. Warriors | Opinion

The Sacramento Kings are perhaps the most exciting team in the NBA right now, and I, along with thousands of Kings fans long denied this moment, have been watching avidly and discussing their playoff series against the Golden State Warriors.

Unfortunately, on NBA basketball, I generally don’t know what I’m talking about.

I am part of a secret cadre of Kings fans who are well-intentioned, excited, and supportive, but we wouldn’t last more than the 24 seconds of an NBA shot clock before exhausting intelligent observations about the Kings or the NBA.

This is kind of embarrassing because I raised two sons who could easily fill in for prime-time anchors on ESPN.

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Of course, most of my golf (sorry, yes) friends are completely obsessed with all of the playoff stuff, and can microscopically discuss Malik Monk’s 3-point shooting percentage.

I just smile. You know that smile. The “I don’t really have a clue in this chat” smile. Nodding. Saying, “Oh, yeah!” I’m passing. Barely.

I do know something about basketball, kind of. I have gone to a lot of Portland Trail Blazer and Kings games, have seen Lebron James and Michael Jordan play, am not completely ignorant about the rules, and certainly appreciate the game.

As a sixth grader, I was obsessed with learning how to play basketball but the gene was not passed on to me. I still can’t really run and dribble. At all. There are things I can do: I golf OK (my son says I can say I’m an 18), and I am a pretty decent fly fisherman. I was passable at baseball, and I still regard myself as a perfectly serviceable touch football quarterback. I am 62, though. Mobility isn’t what it was in 1976.

Basketball? Nope.

My sports knowledge is up to par

As far as discussing other sports, I am definitely most knowledgeable about the PGA Tour, and watch it a lot, read about it, and play a lot.

You’d be amazed how few people want to discuss the PGA Tour at a cocktail party. Or maybe you wouldn’t.

“Why can’t Finau and McElroy REALLY breakthrough? Why are Spieth and Thomas interchangeable? Why does Phil say he weighs 190?” It never really comes up. But I do follow it.

The Kings started to come into focus a few months ago for me. My wife and I have generally watched most of the Kings games, and we enjoyed them. We now kind of know the names, and we now actively ask each other if the Kings are playing tonight.

I know this level of knowledge isn’t really anything compared to the typical Kings fan, who has been living and dying this stuff for decades. My sons are also big Carmichael Dave fans so I hear and see a lot of his stuff. (Dave’s full name is Dave Weiglein and he hosts the morning sports talk show on the Kings flagship station, Sactown Sports 1140 AM)

I know that Carmichael Dave would likely forgive me for being a dope.

Carmichael Dave would also probably forgive me for knowing more (unfortunately) about Marjorie Taylor Greene than Draymond Green.

Kings fans, I’m with you

The Kings aren’t an emotional experience for me. The 1987 Minnesota Twins were. The Minnesota Vikings are. The Vikings were losing to the Philadelphia Eagles a few years ago in the 2018 NFC Championship Game, and my Philadelphia fan pal with whom I was watching the game said it was OK for me to go home at halftime. I did.

The Vikings lost 38-7 (I Googled this). I then went into the bathroom and wept. I was 56 and sobbed into a towel like I was 12.

Frankly, I don’t know that much about either the Vikings or the Twins now. But I sure as heck did in 1972.

So forgive my vacant smile, Sacramento, when you excitedly discuss it all. I’m with you. I’m into it. I’m into Sacramento as a concept, too.

But don’t ask me anything difficult, like my sports writer/California Opinion Editor is going to do. If you have a basketball question, call him.

I’m too busy crying about the 2017 NFC Championship Game.