Mom Upset Pregnant Niece 'Stole' Her Late Daughter's Family Name for Her Own Baby: 'Utterly Betrayed'

OP's child named as part of the tradition died 13 years ago as a young adult, but the tradition preceded her by generations

<p>Getty</p> Stock image of hospital name tag on newborn bassinet


Stock image of hospital name tag on newborn bassinet

A bereaved mom wasn't sure a family tradition should continue after her daughter's death.

The original poster (OP) explained her situation to Redditors on the AmITheA------ subreddit, noting that both she and her daughter share a name that is a family tradition.

"My young adult daughter died 13 years ago. We share a name as it is a family name," she began her post, titled, "AITA for being mad my niece stole my dead daughter’s name."

"The tradition has always been that this is the name given to the first daughter of the first daughter of each generation for over 100 years. My mom, my daughter, and I share this name," she wrote.

"When my niece became pregnant 6 years ago she asked, if she had a girl, could she use the name. Note that she didn’t ask to use it as a tribute. She’s been jealous of the tradition not including her for as long as she’s known of it," OP explained, adding she was honest about her feelings.

"I said no. It would break my already broken soul to share her name with another family member. No one was happy that I 'selfishly' said no, but since she had a boy, nothing came of it."

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<p>iStockphoto </p> Stock image of pregnant woman sitting crosslegged, holding her bump


Stock image of pregnant woman sitting crosslegged, holding her bump

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Now, however, OP's niece is expecting a baby girl and has already told the family she intends to use the name.

"My mom reminded me that it’s her name, too, and she wants to pass it down. First, it’s my name as well. Second, it’s still my daughter’s name even though she’s dead."

OP also shared concerns that her surviving daughter "will never be able to name her own potential future daughter in honor of her dead sister."

"I don’t expect my mother, sister, or niece to understand why I feel as I do, as they’ve never lost a child. That said, I don’t think it’s too hard to consider that if a grieving mother says you may not use her daughter’s name, you probably should respect that and choose another name without question and certainly without guilt," OP reasoned.

"It already tears the gaping hole in my soul wider open each time I hear a mother calling her daughter by what is also my daughter’s name. But now my family is creating a lifelong, in-my-face agony that they could easily prevent. And they‘ve done it knowingly."

<p>Getty</p> Stock image of exasperated woman crying with hands over her face


Stock image of exasperated woman crying with hands over her face

OP lamented feeling "utterly betrayed by my family," particularly her own mom, who she feels doesn't have her back in the situation.

"When I came unglued on her yesterday, my mom told me that if my surviving daughter has a daughter in the future, 'She can use it too! It’s perfectly fine for two kids in one family to have the same name.'"

OP asked if she was wrong in the situation and faced some gentle correction from commenters who said this was out of her hands.

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