What It's Like to Be a Phone Sex Worker in the Time of COVID-19
During the first few days of my self-quarantine, all of the phone sex calls I received were centered on COVID-19. Men called me to talk about their health-focused fears before jacking off to whatever kinky fantasy they had in mind. I was a quick one-stop-shop for their psychological soothing. So many people (aside from essential workers and those with people at home to take care of) suddenly had time to sit around and masturbate, if they could get in the mood.
At first, this seemed like maybe it was a good thing for me. I am lucky that I had already established myself a little as a phone sex operator before the pandemic. Previously, having phone sex was a side hustle to my main hustle as a pro-domme. But I can't beat my pain sluts or kick a man in the balls while socially distancing (which is both psychologically and financially stressing me out), so I’ve made the switch, for the foreseeable future, to virtual ways of making a living. It's almost funny to me that even in a pandemic — perhaps more so now — sex workers have to do the emotional labor of navigating clients’ feelings.
For $1.99 a minute I can be your therapist-slash-dominatrix, and remind you to hold it together as the world crumbles around us. Every call used to be guided by kink, but now it’s just lonely people in quarantine seeking some sense of normalcy. People who may not have bought phone sex before are buying it now because they’re alone in their apartments, while those who typically do call may not be anymore because they’re in quarantine with partners or spouses.
I am very lucky. I have a roof over my head and I can apply for work-from-home jobs, even if there's a giant gap in my resume from the time when I made a living pissing on men who had more money than they knew what to do with. The majority of the money I've made is gone now, as I watch the economy tank (with no end in sight). Nobody knows how long we will have to be socially distancing; some studies have suggested around four months while others suggest up to 18 months. Like it does for so many service-based industries, this pandemic will have serious effects on sex-working communities and our ability to survive.
COVID-19 has affected the way sex workers work
Strip clubs are closed (some club owners tried to stay open or pivot their business models, but they had varying levels of success). Ramona Flour, a sex worker and activist, say they started socially distancing early, because most of their clients are over age 40 and at higher risk. Due to the nature of COVID-19, many people who seem healthy can be asymptomatic carriers for the disease, so many sex workers have been socially distancing and transitioning to online work.
As always during crises, clients from the past who have pushed boundaries or shown themselves to be dangerous reach out. Some predatory clients are requesting in-person sessions and refusing to adhere to the normal standards of screening because they know some workers may not financially be able to say no, on top of the CDC’s calls for social distancing.
Fortunately, I had already solidified myself in in the virtual sex-working space, and already had some footing so that I could transition more easily when my in-person work completely ceased. A lot of sex workers are not so lucky, and are pivoting to virtual work for the first time, whether that be turning to professional phone sex, creating pay-for-porn subscription accounts, or texting packages. But there are risks to this type of work as well. Not everyone can transition to online work, for a variety of reasons, including privacy concerns and a lack of equipment necessary to work online. Additionally, some clients might try to undercut rates around the selling of nudes, texting packages, or video sessions versus the in-person services they're used to.
Sex and pleasure are seen by many as a luxury, one many people cut when budgets are tight. “I think, unfortunately, because I’m selling a luxury service that isn’t absolutely essential to survive, I’m definitely feeling it," says Flour. "All I can do is hope to sell enough pre-bookings and hustle elsewhere at the moment."
The cost of moving your business online
In the early days of the outbreak, popular online workers shared videos and tips on their social media pages to guide other sex workers through new online markets. Members of the sex working community have shown up for one another in unique and innovative ways to make sure others would be okay; however, this has led to the problem of non-sex workers flooding the market with information shared and intended for veteran sex workers who worked before COVID-19.
Over the course of a few days, an entire industry of in-person sex work that has roots in human-to-human connection has moved online to a post-FOSTA/SESTA internet. That 2018 law led internet platforms to enforce stricter conditions of service around nudity and sex for fear of losing CDA Section 230 immunity, which would leave platforms legally liable for what their users post online. Essentially, this led to non-state actors (including many tech platforms) censoring sex workers and other people who didn’t fit the cis-heteronormative and “safe” narrative around sex online.
Even before the pandemic, FOSTA-SESTA had made it difficult for sex workers to navigate an internet that seems purposely designed to push them off, whether through shadowbanning or outright deletion from social media. I watched so many of my friends get pushed off various social media platforms as they wrote us out of their Community Guidelines. I spent several months of last summer being shadowbanned on my personal social media accounts. It’s unnerving making the switch to just online work; I liked doing in-person work, and having the option offered a sense of financial security, should my online accounts be compromised.
The internet isn’t likely to become easier for sex workers to navigate now that we are in a pandemic; in fact, as recently as March 5, members of the U.S. government attempted to introduce the Earn It Act (S.3398) to Congress, which poses a great threat of pushing sex workers farther off the internet due to the risk placed on end-to-end encryption and internet privacy. Sex-working tech activist groups such as Hacking//Hustling have come out against this legislation, fearing it could have effects similar to FOSTA-SESTA on sex working communities. It currently sits in the Senate but has not been voted on.
Last week, when I attempted to log onto a popular video messaging platform for a video session, I noticed my work account had been permanently banned (for reasons I’m still not aware of), which meant I didn’t make $200. I decided to start using my friend’s account, rather than making another of my own. As more people move to having online sex (whether for pleasure or business), the powers that govern the internet will likely continue to push those who are vulnerable, such as sex workers and queer folks, offline.
Many of the worries sex workers have look a lot like the anxieties of the rest of the country.
It’s also important to understand that many sex workers who make the majority of their income through in-person sex work aren’t “face out” online, meaning they have blurred their faces in ads and on social media, and they can’t just start doing online work with a guarantee that it won’t flood into their civilian life eventually. Whether in-person sex workers are deciding to turn to phone sex or subscription porn sites, it’s difficult to have your face hidden (albeit not impossible) and it’s typically expected that online workers will “show face”. Many people aren’t out to their families and communities, or they are afraid of the impact that facial recognition technology is having — and will continue to have — on sex working communities.
While phone sex could be easier for some who aren’t face out online, all forms of virtual work, whether on the internet or phone, require sex workers to give up a certain amount of their privacy for the chance to make money. The fact that the New York City Health Department’s COVID-19 sex) sheet recommended (in a very destigmatizing way) that those who have sex for a living start working online doesn't undo any of the regulations the U.S. government put in place that cause many internet platforms to censor users more harshly.
Beyond the obvious worries about what working online will mean for those who are able, many of the worries sex workers have look a lot like the anxieties of the rest of the country. “I am worried about being able to continue to afford food and supplies for my household, as I live with a number of people, some of whom are immunocompromised," says a sex worker in Seattle (who would like to remain anonymous). "So far I've been able to sustain myself with the help of a couple of generous clients who are doing GFE (girlfriend experience) text packages with me."
Even with federal and state relief funds being debated and passed throughout the U.S., most sex workers will not be included among those in need, because for many, nothing has changed on the books, despite everything being different in reality. As soon as I realized that the majority of my income would disappear soon, I panicked about being able to provide for my working-class family in Oklahoma in case anyone fell ill with COVID-19, since they’re deemed essential workers. I ordered a submissive of mine to buy my sister — who is due to have her third baby on May 5 — a stockpile of diapers (around 600) in case she had to quarantine for a few months.
When privacy is important, crowdfunding sites can create roadblocks
In some ways, sex workers are lucky to have experience organizing and sharing resources because we have always had to; other groups may not be as familiar with aspects of mutual aid and organizing necessary for their communities. Globally, the sex industry operates at various levels of criminalization and censorship, in our daily lives and online. Our communities have always helped one another through networks of mutual aid, which has led to the quick creation of many COVID-19 mutual aid funds. (A list of current COVID-19 sex working mutual aid funds can be found here.)
On top of many sex workers not being able to apply for unemployment depending on their taxes, the COVID-19 Disaster Relief for small businesses explicitly excludes sex workers (or sex-related businesses) from receiving relief. To apply for a loan, the U.S. Small Business Administration makes applicants review and check boxes to prove eligibility, including one that says, “Applicant does not present live performances of a prurient sexual nature or derive directly or indirectly more than de minimis gross revenue through the sale of products or services, or the presentation of any depictions or displays, of a prurient sexual nature.”
Crowdfunding websites aren't always the most efficient ways to raise money either. Sex working group SWOP Brooklyn (Sex Workers Outreach Project), for example, has been affected by Gofundme's strict verification process, which requires a bank account in the recipient's name. Many sex workers operate under multiple names and would rather not have their legal name linked to such accounts; this is a community where identity privacy is crucial for safety. The group's COVID-19 mutual aid Gofundme reached over $62,568 with over 100 requests, as of March 31, but organizers tell Allure that the platform states it withheld the funds for SWOP Brooklyn’s “own security” until March 30. Additionally, Gofundme paused donations on the fundraiser between March 22-25. Organizers found all of this odd, as the group falls under SWOP USA, which is a 501(c)3 organization.
Since then, however, funds have been released, and as of March 31, the group tells Allure it has been able to distribute $38,000. As for why the funds were withheld in the first place, Gofundme tells Allure in an email, "It’s not uncommon for us to ask for additional documentation, as we’ve done in this case; it’s just one of the many ways we secure the platform and make sure the money quickly gets into the right hands. Our Trust & Safety team has been in touch with the campaign organizer to deliver funds as quickly as possible." (You can donate directly to SWOP Brooklyn here, if you'd like to forego the crowdfunding platform.)
Some people attempting to raise money on Facebook faced delays in receiving their funds, as well. An odd glitch that started on March 17 flagged some COVID-19-related links as spam. This included an aid request organized by Juniper Fitzgerald, author of How Mamas Love Their Babies, that was meant to help sex working mothers facing houselessness due to lack of work during the pandemic. “In a country led by people who aren’t compelled to provide health care for their citizens, where online fundraising is literally the primary way vulnerable communities stay afloat, the flagging of COVID-related fundraising means more dead people, quite frankly,” says Fitzgerald. Facebook’s VP of Integrity Guy Rosen responded on Twitter referring to it as a “bug in an anti-spam system” and said that they had since “restored all the posts since that were incorrectly removed.”
What the future looks like, and how you can help
One of the best ways non-sex workers can help right now is by giving money directly to the sex workers you know or admire, buying your porn directly through performers rather than watching on tube sites, and simply put, paying for sex (virtually, for the time being). If you have a work-from-home job and can regularly donate to sex worker mutual aids, you should also do that.
As some sex workers move solely online, we once again put our livelihoods in the hands of tech companies, which is a risky and dangerous business (especially with new legislation like the Earn It Act on the horizon). But there seems to be little choice in the matter. At this time, none of us know what the future holds. I have plans to offer a texting package. I finally had a call last night wherein the pandemic wasn’t brought up at all; it was pure kink, and it felt good. I miss my community, but at the same time I feel connected with it more than ever as members try to navigate what this means for all of us, as a community and as individuals.
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Why Do Sex Workers Always Get Left Out of the Self-Care Conversation?
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Originally Appeared on Allure
