Quotes of the Week: The Bachelorette, HSM:TM:TS, Harley Quinn and More
Excellent news for fans of Only Murders in the Building and High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: Both series (and their extra-long titles) are featured heavily in our latest Quotes of the Week compilation.
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In the list below, we’ve gathered nearly 20 of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, in addition to the aforementioned comedies, we’ve got quotable moments from Harley Quinn, Big Brother, The Chi and Reservation Dogs, plus a double dose of The Challenge: USA‘s Season 2 premiere.
And because we couldn’t quite include six quotes from Heartstopper‘s newest season in last week’s column, we’ve saved three of ’em for this week’s roundup instead. And no, we aren’t done swooning over the new episodes, but thank you for asking. (And grade Season 2 here!)
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
THE BACHELORETTE
“I’m not here to fix anybody. I’m not here to build a man. This isn’t Build-a-Man Workshop.”
Charity has no interest in helping men like Xavier figure out their commitment issues
JUSTIFIED: CITY PRIMEVAL
“That said, how was it for you?”
“It was about what I expected it to be.”
Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) fishes for a review of his and Carolyn’s (Aunjanue Ellis) night together
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (Episode 1)
“Did I stick the landing?”
“The plane is literally scattered across the runway.”
Charles (Steve Martin) bombs his introduction to the Death Rattle cast — and Oliver (Martin Short) makes sure he knows it
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (Episode 1 Bonus Quote!)
“You’ve got to be f—king kidding me!”
Uma (Jackie Hoffman), upon seeing that yet another person has been murdered in the building
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING (Episode 2)
“Give me five minutes in a room, and I can convince anyone of anything.”
“That is not true.”
“I convinced you to get Paramount+.”
“No, I wanted that.”
“Did you?“
Are we to assume Oliver (Martin Short) tricked Charles (Steve Martin) so he could watch all those Yellowstone prequels?
HARLEY QUINN
“Tawny, do people really care about a block of stone and three dudes wearing Carhartt jackets? And they’re not even wearing them in, like, a cool, gay way. They’re wearing them in, like, a Boston way.”
LOD CEO Ivy (voiced by Lake Bell) has questions about a talk show’s “Statue Cam”
SPECIAL OPS: LIONESS
“I feel like I’m spying on Spring Break.”
“You are.”
Tex (Jonah Wharton) keeps an eye on Cruz’s Hamptons getaway with Aaliyah and her gal pals
THE CHALLENGE: USA
“I think the biggest concern on our team right now is from Fessy. He’s wondering why we’re not carrying a statue of him.”
Tori Deal cracks a lighthearted joke at Faysal Shafaat’s expense
THE CHALLENGE: USA (Bonus Quote!)
“If you took Johnny Bananas’ ego and put it into stone form, that’s how big and how heavy these statues are.”
Michele Fitzgerald takes aim at Bananas when trying to explain the weight of the daily challenge’s ginormous statues
RESERVATION DOGS
“And remember to keep smiling. They can’t stop you from smiling.”
Deer Lady (Kaniehtiio Horn) passes on some sage advice to a floundering Bear
THE CHI
“You know, I’m the only woman in this house who should be calling you ‘daddy.’”
At breakfast, Jemma (Judae’a Brown) lets Marcus know she overheard him and his female visitor the night before
HEARTSTOPPER (Episode 7)
“You are a pathetic little man. Talk about my brother like that again, and I’ll end you.”
After kicking David’s phone out of his hand, Tori (Jenny Walser) issues a well-earned threat
HEARTSTOPPER (Episode 8)
“I’m a literal disaster.”
“Oh, I know. I actually like how much of a disaster you are.”
“I am so in love with you. I just… I’m bad at saying it.”
“Well, practice makes perfect.”
Tara (Corinna Brown) helps Darcy (Kizzy Edgell) get over her trepidation about the L word
HEARTSTOPPER (Episode 8 Bonus Quote!)
“I just don’t want to annoy you or burden you. I don’t want you to think I’m some fragile, broken mess… that you need to fix me. I would hate that.”
“You’re not, and I wouldn’t. But I’ve done so many things that were scary in the past few months because you were there holding my hand. And I want to be that for you, too. You’re my boyfriend.”
Charlie (Joe Locke) has anything but scared off Nick (Kit Connor) by being honest about his struggles
BIG BROTHER
“Solidify your things with the people you got. Luke…”
“And Heisman… Hyman… Hyman.”
“Hisam? His name is Hisam, ain’t it? … Yeah, it’s Hisam. You said hymen. That’s what breaks when you lose your virginity.”
Cirie educates son Jared on both the correct(-ish) pronunciation of Hisam’s name and the female anatomy
AND JUST LIKE THAT…
“Wow… that’s like hearing that two of my stuffed animals are having sex.”
Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is understandably stunned to learn that Miranda’s son and Charlotte’s daughter might be hooking up
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: THE MUSICAL: THE SERIES
“Much like my mother’s problematic Twitter account, High School Musical 3 is cancelled.”
If this show has to end, can we please get a spinoff starring Miss Jenn (Kate Reinders) and her mom?
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: THE MUSICAL: THE SERIES (Bonus Quote!)
“By the way, who the f—k are you guys?”
It took four seasons, but Ricky (Joshua Bassett) finally asked the show’s camera crew what viewers have been wondering all along
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