Quotes of the Week: What We Do in the Shadows, Big Brother, Justified and More
From the Big Brother house’s Diary Room to the tennis courts of the U.S. Open, our latest roundup of standout Quotes of the Week hails from all corners of the TV universe.
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In the list below, we’ve gathered more than a dozen of television’s most memorable sound bites from the past seven days, including moments both scripted and unscripted from broadcast, cable and streaming series.
This time around, in addition to the aforementioned CBS reality show and tennis tournament, we’ve got quotable moments from Ahsoka, The Young and the Restless, What We Do in the Shadows and The Real Housewives of New York City, among other shows.
Also featured in this week’s compilation: double doses of Harley Quinn, The Afterparty and Justified: City Primeval‘s finale (grade the miniseries here).
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
“So this is basically a clip show now? Are we Golden Girls?”
Colin (Mark Proksch) isn’t a fan of The Guide using a montage of past moments to prove her point
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (Bonus Quote!)
“I’m not Guillermo! I’m Patton Oswalt! I’m an actor!”
“Patton Oswalt? An actor? What would I know you from?”
“I was in Ratatouille!”
“Is that a movie?”
“It was animated! I was the voice of a rat!”
“I prefer live-action.”
Nandor (Kayvan Novak) is not impressed by the film resumé of Patton Oswalt… whom he is currently strangling
AHSOKA
“Huyang, anything yet?”
“On the object? No. However, I have several thoughts on everything else going on.”
“Not now.”
“The way you’re both acting, there won’t be a ‘later.’”
Huyang (voiced by David Tennant) has little faith in Ahsoka (Rosario Dawson) and Sabine fending off Elsbeth’s minions
U.S. OPEN
“I don’t know how you guys feel, but if I coached Petra, I’d have to have a lot of drinks after a match.”
Commentator Rennae Stubbs, getting brutally honest watching No. 11 seed Petra Kvitová spray an unforced error off a 77 MPH second serve in her match against Caroline Wozniacki
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS
“What are you doing back there?”
“Oh, not much — just being a master barista!”
“Hard times?”
Nikki (Melody Thomas Scott) can’t fathom why Esther (Kate Linder) is slinging lattes at Crimson Lights
HARLEY QUINN
“F—k. We’re gone a few days and the Snyderverse people take over?”
Time-traveling Ivy (voiced by Lake Bell) and Harley return to a dystopian Gotham City
HARLEY QUINN (Bonus Quote!)
“Sir, it appears our maximum laser range is 304 centimeters short of the Earth’s atmosphere.”
“In English!!!”
“It’s about 10 feet short, sir.”
Lex (voiced by Giancarlo Esposito) apparently didn’t study the language of metrics in high school
THE CHALLENGE: USA
“You all like an underdog, and I’m going to have to be that underdog. A really good-looking underdog.”
Wes Bergmann knows we want a show, and a show he will deliver
JUSTIFIED: CITY PRIMEVAL
“In case you think it came to be, no, we ain’t friends.”
“Coulda been. If things were different.”
“And if your momma had wheels, she’d be a streetcar.”
Mansell (Boyd Holbrook) makes too much of the fact that Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) came to save him from the safe room
JUSTIFIED: CITY PRIMEVAL (Bonus Quote!)
“You call EMS?”
“I called the Wayne County morgue.”
Carolyn (Aunjanue Ellis) closes one final deal for longtime client Mansell (Boyd Holbrook)
BIG BROTHER
“Whether it’s the veto or some daggone condoms, everybody in the Big Brother house is looking for some protection!”
With news of Jared and Blue’s showmance and a Power of Veto up for grabs, Miss Felicia cracks a funny
THE AFTERPARTY
“I’ve tried to help you, but I’m afraid you are madder than a mad hatter at a hat haberdashery!”
Edgar (Zach Woods) delivers some stern words to his mother in one helluva tongue twister
THE AFTERPARTY (Bonus Quote!)
“What’s important is that I was coming undone in front of Edgar and Hannah, my sweet odd bird. I value her opinion above anyone’s.”
“Wait, you do? You’ve never told me that before.”
“Well, how would I?”
“Sort of like how you just did.”
“But I’m not telling you, I’m telling them. I mean, what do you want me to do? Tell you that I care about you, to your face, while we’re alone?”
“That’d be really nice.”
“Well, that’s absurd.”
Isabel (Elizabeth Perkins) and Hannah (Anna Konkle) share a tender(-ish) mother-daughter moment during Isabel’s very strange questioning
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY
“The worst thing you’ll have to do is call your boyfriend and tell him you’re engaged to someone else.”
Ladies and gentlemen, Brynn Whitfield with yet another totally relatable life story
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