For single Quebecers, a solitary Thanksgiving is the lockdown's first big hurdle
Shannon Delarosbil planned her Thanksgiving celebrations about a month ago — back when seeing more than one person at a time was allowed in Quebec.
Originally from the Gaspé, she's established a ragtag group of Montreal friends who are transplants from elsewhere. They've established a "friendsgiving" tradition of hanging out together and eating every year.
But Quebec's second wave of COVID-19 ruined her plans.
The province's new public health guidelines say single-person households can only "bubble" with one other person — and both indoor and outdoor gatherings are banned.
In lieu of celebrating in person, she and her friends are going to play an online murder mystery game and hang out via video chat.
"It's not quite the same as being together, but it could be fun nonetheless," Delarosbil said.
"I think we'll just be having takeout in our respective homes and drinking beers together, on camera."
Delarosbil is in the same boat as tens of thousands of other Quebecers, who aren't able to gather and celebrate the holiday in the presence of loved ones.
Single? You're not alone
An expert in loneliness encourages people who may be feeling down about the weekend to take heart — lots of folks are in this boat right now.
"Without sounding paradoxical, you're not alone," said Dr. Rob Whitley, an associate professor of psychiatry at McGill University.
Data from the 2016 census shows that nearly a third of Quebec households are single-occupancy. Many of those people, including Delarosbil, have been living and working in small apartments since March.
Finding alternative plans is a good coping measure for what could be a long winter, he says, particularly for the group that reports feeling lonely most often — millennials.
He says for people who love to go out and socialize, being unable to gather is a mental adjustment. When people are less accustomed to being alone, they may be more likely to experience loneliness, Whitley said.
For Delarosbil, that feeling of aloneness is exacerbated by the steady barrage of bad news in the media, the worry that current restrictions will extend past 28 days, and the imminent long, dark winter.
"I think that it's been weighing heavier on myself specifically, but I know that I'm not the only one feeling this way," she said.
Stay off social media, do something fun
Whitley urges people not to lump "alone" and "lonely" together.
It's perfectly possible to have a good time by oneself — and for some, that might even be preferable, he said.
But if loneliness is a concern, he recommends staying off social media, where other people might be posting pictures of their happy-looking gatherings.
He also recommends scheduling something simple but pleasurable, such as yoga, walking, or prayer or meditation.
Those tips aren't new to Marc Griffin, who is a mental health worker, but he's still planning on breaking the rules this weekend.
He couldn't bear the alternative.
His mother, Arlene, is turning 70 on Saturday. Like Griffin, she lives alone. But Griffin is "bubbling" with his partner — meaning technically, he's not allowed to meet with another person.
"I don't like taking risks like this, but sometimes there are unique situations that you have to take just a little bit of risk, for the sake of humanity," he said.
Griffin works from home. He says he takes the public health guidelines seriously and has quarantined for 14 days in preparation to see his mother, who, he says, is struggling.
"It's such a monumental birthday for my mom. I had been quarantining for 14 days. I don't have any symptoms," he said. "I'm kind of looking at the worst-case scenario, and this may be my last chance to spend some significant time with my mother."
His own birthday is Sunday and he plans to spend it alone.
Despite that, he encourages people to look on the bright side of single-living. No kids, fewer distractions and quiet time.
"I'm grateful for what I do have," he said.
