Tony Goldwyn Shares 'Big Ingredient' That Makes His 37-Year Marriage Work (Exclusive)

The 'Scandal' alum, who directs and stars in 'Ezra,' is married to production designer Jane Musky

<p>Valerie Macon/Getty</p> Tony Goldwyn and Jane Musky in 2012

Valerie Macon/Getty

Tony Goldwyn and Jane Musky in 2012

Tony Goldwyn says the “big ingredient” in his 37-year marriage to his wife, production designer Jane Musky, is “respect.”

“I married someone who I have a very deep respect for, both her professional gifts, but also her humanity and her character,” the actor-director, 64, tells PEOPLE.

“I just am always sort of in awe of who she is as a person,” he continues of Musky, 70. “That makes our relationship always interesting to me. She's always interesting to me.”

“If I could be arrogant enough to offer any advice to anybody, it would be to love a person for who they are. Because I think the trap we fall into is we have some fantasy or ideal of what we think a person should be,” adds the Scandal alum. "What I've learned in marriage is you marry multiple people because we all evolve as we grow."

<p>M. Von Holden/FilmMagic</p> Tony Goldwyn and Jane Musky in 2003

M. Von Holden/FilmMagic

Tony Goldwyn and Jane Musky in 2003

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"I've come to really appreciate and love Jane for who she is, and she does the same for me, my foibles and my strengths. That has been a beautiful revelation for me," he says.

Goldwyn previously told PEOPLE about meeting his future wife at the Williamstown Theater Festival in Massachusetts in 1981. “I felt I'd never find anyone like Jane again,” he said in a 1990 article.

Related: The Cutest Longterm Celebrity Couple Throwback Photos

"Jane was as ambitious as I, and yet we were in sync,” he added at the time. “Her ambition fueled me and never threatened me. We fed each other.”

Musky built a successful career in Hollywood as a production designer on movies like 1987’s Raising Arizona and 1989’s When Harry Met Sally.

When she got the gig on the Demi Moore-Patrick Swayze romantic drama Ghost, she encouraged Goldwyn — who was, by then, her husband — to go after the role of the movie’s villain, Carl. He got the job.

<p>Tony Goldwyn/Instagram</p> Tony Goldwyn and his daughters in 2015

Tony Goldwyn/Instagram

Tony Goldwyn and his daughters in 2015

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In the years since, Goldwyn and Musky, who are parents to daughters Anna, 34, and Tess, 29, have only worked together a handful of times.

“I’ve tried to get her to design my films. But as parents, when our kids were growing up, it just didn’t make sense,” he says, before joking, “Maybe one day she’ll say yes.”

Goldwyn is in the midst of a career streak that’s hotter than one of his steamy Scandal sex scenes. After playing a tennis coach in 2021’s King Richard and imposing lawyer Gordon Gray in the Oscar-winning 2023 movie Oppenheimer, he joined NBC stalwart Law & Order as driven district attorney Nicholas Baxter (taking over prosecuting duties from Sam Waterston, who departed the series) and guest-starred on the Max comedy series Hacks.

Related: Bobby Cannavale and Rose Byrne Star in Heartwarming Ezra Trailer from Director Tony Goldwyn

And in his new movie Ezra, which he also directed, he stars alongside a pair of Oscar winners, Robert De Niro and his former Ghost costar Whoopi Goldberg. “I’ve been so busy,” says Goldwyn.

But he only takes projects that interest him, and he always prioritizes family. “Honestly, this is a cliche,” he says, “but I just feel kind of blessed.”

Ezra is in theaters May 31.

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