From Nicki Minaj telling Heidi N Closet, “I hate, hate, hate your hair and makeup today,” to RuPaul announcing, “I don’t want to see any f–ing H&M,” some Drag Race critiques are instant classics. This week, we got another one.
Allow me to set the stage: Episode 3 of All Stars 8 invited the remaining contestants to a Supermarket Ball, where each queen would show off a look in three separate categories — Legen-Dairy, Fruity Patootie and Supermarket Supermodel.
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It was during the judges’ critiques of Mrs. Kasha Davis’ self-made third look that Ts Madison said… the words. With no choice but to speak her absolute truth, she looked Kasha right in the eyes and declared, “This. I. Hate,” punctuating each word with a dramatic clap of her hand. “It looked like a bag of broken rubbers, honey. You know those colorful rubbers, the cheap ones? … This is definitely a birthday party where I would not have eaten any of the cake.”
The way she tore that dress to shreds, you would think that she and the garment have a long, fraught history. Like, Ryan Murphy could do a whole season of Feud about what this dress must have done to Madison when they were both children to elicit such vitriol on this day.
The truth is, Madison wasn’t wrong. In fact, Chaotic Children’s Birthday Party was precisely the vibe Kasha was going for, and she definitely succeeded — for better or worse. Madison also wasn’t alone in her thoughts — even guest-judge JoJo Siwa said the look lacked “order,” and she was able to find the good in everyone!
Perhaps reading the writing on the wall, Kasha responded to those critiques by saying that it’s a “blessing and a miracle” to be “so clear” during this competition, a nod to her eight years of sobriety. She then poked fun at herself, adding how much fun she’s having “in the biggest busted piñata dress, accepting whatever criticism comes my way.” It was very much a thank-you-and-goodbye speech, and if All Stars had a Miss Congeniality, she would have won the crown right then and there.
But there is no Miss Congeniality in All Stars, so let’s move on to this week’s real winner: Jessica Wild! Not only was she named the top queen, but she and her stretchy “Coconuts” also defeated guest-assassin Ra’Jah O’Hara in a Kim Petras lip sync, taking home a $30,000 tip!
You could tell she felt the usual amount of remorse as she removed Kasha’s lipstick from her cleavage, but I doubt Jessica lost any sleep that night, especially if she made good on her promise to use this breastplate as a pillow:
With Darienne Lake sent to safety, Kasha eliminated and Jessica now $30,000 richer, another week of All Stars 8 has come to an end.
(I’m not sure where to put this, so I’ll just leave it here: LaLa Ri was also a winner in my book this week. Considering how nervous she was about this unconventional design challenge, still haunted by the infamous gift-bag “dress” that sent her home last time, I was really impressed. From that Grace Jones-inspired third look to her overall poise and confidence, I’m definitely enjoying my second LaLa Ri experience even more than my first.)
Do you think everything worked out as it should have? Vote in our poll below, then drop a comment with your thoughts on Episode 3.
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