Unmarried Girls Do Not Engage in Carnal Activities: MP High Court. It’s Time They Stop Deciding For Us
Rejecting the bail plea of a rape accused, the Madhya Pradesh High Court’s observation — that India is a conservative society, and has not yet advanced to a level where girls can indulge in carnal activities just for the fun, without an assurance of marriage — yet again reflects how premarital sex is still deemed a taboo in Indian society.
The case — attempt to rape on the pretext of marriage — was registered under Section 376 (Rape) and Section 366 (Kidnapping, abducting or inducing woman to compel her marriage) of the Indian Penal Code and various provisions of the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act at Mahakal police station of Ujjain district.
The victim attempted suicide on June 2 by consuming phenyl. With regard to this, the court made an observation that the prosecutor was serious about the relationship, and did not just get involved for enjoyment. This was the reason presented, while dismissing the bail application of the accused.
Perception of sex in Indian society
How many times have we encountered awkward moments, while watching television with our parents or elderly in the family? Two people kissing is ‘normal’, but it’s almost as if the drawing room turns into a space of horror and shame. There’s eerie silence, every single time there is a lovemaking scene in a show or movie. And here’s where the problem lies — in how sex is perceived by our society.
The agency to express sexual needs is viewed as a carnal sin, because women must have sex, but for “biological” reasons. Her needs and desires have no place in a society that views everything through the dominant male gaze.
The moment women hit puberty, everything they do is scrutinized. Society has laid down a million rules around “how she must talk”, “how she must sit”, and how “she should behave like a lady”. It completely ignores the fact that men sexualize and objectify her; rather stressing on how women must “protect their integrity”. Well, because their izzat is in their hands.
Also read: Cut The V Card: Why Women Are Tired Of The Concept Of 'Losing Virginity'
Sex education: Need of the hour
It is only natural that when boys and girls grow up, they become more aware of their sexuality. Their curiosity knows no bounds; after all, they want answers to so many questions, and that’s perfectly normal. Instead, our society speaks about these pertinent issues in hushed tones. This, in turn, suppresses their sexuality, and they often turn to other channels like pornographic material that sets unrealistic expectations of how sex must be.
Even if children dare to ask their parents or older people, they are often reprimanded, leading to several problematic repercussions in the future. Understanding how bodies function as well as conversations around sexual needs and desires is critical. It is also essential to touch upon important subjects like safe sex, especially at a time, when adolescents are dealing with raging hormones.
Stop moral policing of women
Moral policing of women in Indian society is so common that such scathing and distasteful comments, even by a court of law are “normalized”.
Not just that, even the content we consume today has undertones of sexism and misogyny. Think of a popular film like Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani — starring Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone — where there’s a dialogue, ‘Jawan ladki zyada enjoy karti hai toh pregnant ho jaati hai’ (if young girls enjoy too much, they get pregnant’). Why is it that women who choose to be vocal about their sexual needs get slut-shamed? On the contrary, men are glorified for having a ‘high score’.
Even today, a woman’s virginity is of prime importance. After all, it is a certificate of how ‘pure she is’. If she doesn’t clear the purity test, she is deemed unfit for marriage. Nobody seems to care about the number of sexual relations a man has had, because that’s a display of his ‘manhood’.
Also read: How The UP Population Control Bill Impinges On Women's Reproductive Rights
The last word
Whether it is marriage, sex or anything else, it is the women who have to pass an agnipariksha with flying colours, because well, she is not “supposed” to have her own identity. It is the man who must govern how she lives, walks, talks, and dresses. And in case she fails to fulfil those expectations, she runs the risk of tarnishing her reputation.
A case in point is when the court concluded that a boy who is entering into a physical relationship with a girl must be cognizant of his actions, because it is the girl who has to pay for the damages, in case she gets pregnant.
Well, can we please stop showing sympathy? Because we are no damsels in distress.
(Edited by Amrita Ghosh)
