Using Facebook to find birth parents or adoptees has its drawbacks
The Saskatchewan government says it's drafting new regulations to help adoptees and birth parents find each other. In the meantime, many people have turned to Facebook to speed up the search process.
The Adoption Council of Canada is warning that social media searches can have its drawbacks.
"It's always a pretty emotional journey," Laura Eggerston with the council said.
Eggerston said many people who search on social media might not find the right person. If they do find the right person, that initial connection can often be difficult for one of the parties. With social media people are connected immediately, without any warning. It doesn't give people a lot of time to prepare.
"The expectations of the person you're contacting may not be the same as your own," she said.
Eggerston offers these tips for those turning to social media to search for an adoptee or birth parents.
Think it through first. How do you expect it to unfold?
- Be clear about what you want. Do you just want information, or do you want a relationship?
- Recognize that birth families may not have told other family members that they had a child who was given up for adoption.
- Understand it may not be a fairy tale. If you want a relationship, you will have to build it over time.
- If someone contacts you, it's ok to say "I'm not ready for this now" and get back in touch when you're ready.
