Women Take Competing With Each Other a Tad Far – Here’s Why
Many women prefer having male company over female, some even swear by it. Ever wondered why this could be true? Right through childhood and adolescence and then in the workplace, women are conditioned not to appreciate each other. Also in a number of social and educational setups like colleges, when women are found supporting women from a different social group, they are instantly looked down upon or shamed for doing so. Yes, there is jealousy, hatred and a general superiority complex certain women have over their female peers. But historical practices (like in aristocracy) and the media play a big role in creating this notion amongst women.
Historically, women in the aristocratic society were also programmed to indulge in misogyny and power play to put their female associates or relatives down. In Indian mythology, where women were portrayed as co-existing in harmony, in the same household, there also were the others who hated each other.
If that wasn’t enough, Indian mainstream cinema has fed women’s hatred for other women into your system and you may have enjoyed it too. Defining scenes from commercial blockbuster movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (remember having a good laugh when Anjali was shamed for dressing up like a girl?), 2008 Madhur Bhandarkar’s Fashion, or popular teen rom-com Mean Girls and the innumerable ‘Saas-bahu’ soaps haunting our television sets have endorsed women’s hatred towards other women and have misrepresented women supporting women. Why does this happen, you ask? Here are some of the reasons influenced greatly by psychological evolution, conditioning and societal patterns.
Psychological evolution of insecurity and jealousy
These characteristic traits among women are actually a courtesy of men! These observations date back to research and theoretical evidence in evolutionary psychology presented by Charles Darwin in which he states that men would originally compete against each other to gain sexual rights over women. Consequently, this led to women being pitted against each other to win the attention of these men.
The overt judging of women for their attire, their conduct and behaviour by other women, has been highlighted in various aristocratic literary works like Pride and Prejudice and a number of other Shakespearean tragedies. On psychological grounds, women need to protect themselves or their sexual power from other women who might overtake them in these so-called potential achievements.
Healthy competition between female peers and professionals is always good. However, when you feel like the competition is going overboard, stand up for your female peers. They need you, just like you need them.
Personal urge to prove that you’re good enough
The Indian society and culture has always compared girls with one another. Parents are often found pointing out how other girls are better than their own daughters. The rare occasion when the comparison extended to their male counterparts, girls were often told that they are not good enough or as capable. This forces women to constantly strive for achievements and put their female peers down. What you can do to contribute towards the eradication of this notion is empathise with other women about how they feel and empower them because you know how it feels to be in their shoes.
Abnormal urge to feel ‘accepted’
In a world that swears by social media presence and its ‘likes’, ‘dislikes’ and trolling, women often feel the urge to be ‘approved’ or ‘accepted’ by their beholders. This induces the proverbial ‘crab mentality’ into the psychology of women and thus they begin to pull each other down to make it to the top of the list to be stamped as ‘approved’. Instead, how about you assure other women around you that you are there to appreciate them in their achievements and hold them in their weakest moments?
At a time when we need more women supporting other women, we must not indulge in hatred and insecurity. We must make efforts to work towards the betterment of our mental health. As a society, we need more women to surface and achieve higher in their respective professional and personal lives and this can be enabled only by offering support to each other.
(Edited by Neha Baid)
