The 10 most horrendous moments in Baby Reindeer

Richard Gadd’s autobiographical Netflix series Baby Reindeer will probably be the year’s most talked-about show, and it’s easy to see why. Although it’s shot through with elements of black comedy, it’s more disturbing than any number of horror films in its relentless focus on the relationship between Gadd’s aspiring comedian Donny and his stalker nemesis Martha, played unforgettably by Jessica Gunning.

It has already led to wild speculation (publicly denounced by Gadd) as to who the real-life models are behind Martha and the character of Darrien (played memorably against type by the excellent Tom Goodman-Hill), a successful comedy screenwriter who ends up drugging and raping Donny under the pretence of helping him with his career.

Baby Reindeer is one of those series that, although low on overt displays of violence – one shockingly brutal moment aside – is so full of tension and dread that it makes for a very hard watch. Yet the levels of artistry on display are so high that it’s sure to clean up at awards shows on both sides of the Atlantic, as well as provoking endless think pieces about what, precisely, are the most shocking and provocative moments throughout its seven episodes.

Here are our picks for the most unforgettably shocking scenes – as well as some of the most affecting, too.

This article contains spoilers for Baby Reindeer

Episode One – Meet Martha

The first episode is the least disturbing of the series, as Gadd carefully deconstructs the meetcute cliches of a hundred romantic comedies, but it’s still a hard watch. Donny works in a pub, aimlessly, and so when the apparently chatty and friendly – if rather exuberant – Martha walks in, he’s initially pleased to see her and they form a friendship of sorts.

Yet even at this stage it’s quite obvious that Martha is not all she claims to be, with her stories of being a successful lawyer at odds with her inability to pay for a cup of tea. Eventually, after she has given Donny the half-sentimental, half-creepy nickname of “Baby Reindeer”, it becomes clear that she has a temper – as expressed through an outburst when he takes her for coffee. When Donny decides to Google “Martha Scott lawyer” and finds out what’s really going on (and that she previously served time for stalking) he decides against doing what any sensible person would: running a mile. Yet, as we will go on to see, Donny is not your average comedian-cum-barman either.

Episode Two – Dating Teri

One aspect of Baby Reindeer that is both unorthodox and original is the presentation of Nevi Mau’s Teri, a trans woman who is both a therapist and a love interest for Donny. It is suggested that Donny’s interest in her is both sincere and a fetish of sorts, given that he met her on a specific dating website set up for that purpose and gave a false name and occupation – signifying that there is more going on than a simple romantic attachment between the two.

That he has to take cocaine before going out on a date with her is indicative of his lack of self-confidence, something then emphasised by her asking him to kiss her at the end of the date – and Donny panicking and running away while on the Underground. Fewer first encounters have felt more doom-laden.

‘Dating’ Martha 

In one of those grim moments that resonates throughout the rest of the series, one of Donny’s co-workers takes his phone from him and sends Martha a vulgar email in which he suggests that he would like to have anal sex with her immediately, something that she enthusiastically responds to. (“When? Where?”) Yet when she confronts him by the canal, it’s quite clear that Martha is several sandwiches short of a picnic, as she calls him a “filthy f---er” and says “I’ve never taken it up the chuff before, but I might make a concession for you.”

She menaces him, responding to the “dilly dally, hot and cold s---” that she claims that he’s offering her, and then announces: “Men who don’t fancy me are either blind or gay, and I don’t see you reaching you for the banister when you climb the stairs.” This is, as we shall see shortly, far more perceptive than Donny would like, and just before she violently gropes him, Martha perspicaciously asks “Who was it who hurt you? It was a man, wasn’t it?” Donny’s denials are unconvincing in the extreme.

Episode Three – Martha (and Donny) Enraged

After an extremely tense episode in which Martha insinuates herself into the home of Donny’s landlady – his ex-girlfriend’s mother, a slightly surreal development that reinforces the sense that his life is not all it should be – and parks herself at the bus stop opposite the house, apparently on a semi-permanent basis, the full extent of her delusion becomes clear. When she and Teri encounter one another at the end of the show, after Donny and Teri have agreed to resume their relationship once he has been honest with her about himself, Martha flies into a violent rage. She physically attacks “the skank” Teri, tearing out clumps of her hair and screaming abuse at her. The grimmest part comes when Martha screams “You look like a man!” before an understandably furious Donny throws her out of the pub.

Episode Four – Darrien O’Connor

The entertainment industry is full of sleazy and predatory types who offer the young and innocent apparent advancement in their careers if they will go along with their (usually sexual) desires. It’s a tale as old as the hills, but in this episode of the show, Donny becomes the focus of the comedy writer Darrien O’Connor, a successful, if jaded, TV personality who offers to mentor Donny in his unsuccessful Edinburgh festival show. Initially, Darrien appears to be a friendly and charismatic figure, charming Donny and taking the time to offer him help and advice, but it soon becomes clear that he has other intentions towards his younger protégé than perfecting his comedy routine.

How extensive his designs are become clear in a series of distressing scenes, shot obliquely but clearly, depicting Darrien giving Donny drugs and then assaulting and raping him while he is in no position to resist or refuse. The most horrible part of the dynamic between the two – which helps to explain Donny’s deep self-loathing – is that Donny keeps returning to Darrien’s home, knowing exactly what awaits him, but somehow unable to resist his abuser.

Donny’s Sexual Awakening

The two intertwined storylines in Baby Reindeer involve Donny’s twisted relationship with Martha – which, bizarrely, gets more twisted as the show continues – and his realisation of his awakened sexuality. In a montage towards the end of episode four, Donny is shown having vigorous, anonymous and unsafe sex with a variety of men and women, all borne from feelings of guilt and shame that he was somehow complicit in his assault. It’s a powerful, deeply upsetting depiction of the dark side of human desire, and shows – as if it wasn’t clear already – that Donny is just as troubled and unpredictable as Martha in his own way.

Episode Five – The Party Flat

Baby Reindeer’s awfulness is more palatable in some parts than others, and after Donny is asked to leave his home by his landlady – who is understandably concerned by Martha’s behaviour and worried that she might become the target of her psychosis – he moves into the home of a wealthy man whom he met at drama school. At first, all seems well; it is large and comfortable, and his flatmate seems charming, if somewhat aimless in life, talking about having a “gap year” that he will devote to hedonism and pleasure.

Yet when Donny asks jokingly “What’s the catch?”, it soon becomes clear that he is stuck in a hell-hole, a “party flat” in which drug-fuelled raves take place every night accompanied by “the s---ttest f---ing music known to man” and from which, in his impecunious state, he has little chance of escaping. It’s milder than some of the other examples on this list, but another example of how utterly grim Donny’s life is.

Martha Fantasies

Donny’s relationship with Teri, predictably, suffers because of his difficulties with Martha, and when he is unable to get an erection during sex, she feels rejected and falls into depression, reminding herself of Martha’s comments that “she said I look like a man”. However, so all-consuming is his obsession with Martha that he finds himself masturbating over a picture that she gave him of her in her underwear and, in one of the show’s most shocking scenes, fantasising over sex with her, as, to his horror, he finds himself missing her endless attentions. Even though he has been warned by the police that “she is a very serious woman” and capable of going to extraordinary lengths to hurt those that she has become fixated by, it is suggested that only these grim erotic fantasies can lead to any kind of sexual relationship between Donny and Teri.

Episode Six – The Dam Breaks

It will be fascinating to see what Baby Reindeer does for Gadd’s career, as it will seem difficult to imagine him in any kind of comedic or dramatic role (especially if he’s written the material himself) without speculating as to autobiographical overtones; Baby Reindeer began as an acclaimed Edinburgh festival show before being transferred to screen. Yet the tour de force scene for him as writer and actor comes at the climax of the sixth episode, in which Donny performs in the finals of a comedy show.

Finding that his jokes aren’t landing, he launches into an extraordinary, protracted self-loathing monologue in which he details the awfulness of his life and the things that have been done to him, before walking off stage, only to find that the video has gone viral and established the career he has always longed for. It’s electrifying – undoubtedly it will be the scene for which Gadd wins the innumerable awards that he will collect – and also deeply sad for its autobiographical content, even if, in reality, Gadd has never been as much of a failure as Donny. When he declares “I loved one thing more than Teri, and that was hating myself”, it’s utterly heartbreaking.

Episode Seven – “Would You See Me As Less of a Man?”

The final episode of Baby Reindeer goes into heavily emotional territory as it resolves its various storylines. As Martha is imprisoned for stalking Donny and his family, it is impossible not to feel sympathy for her, weeping in the dock, even as she still delusionally refers to “my little reindeer” as she is sent down. There is a confrontation between Donny and Darrien which plays out entirely differently to how most would expect; the two sit, have a cup of tea, and Darrien, still ever the abuser, offers Donny the chance to work with him again, saying “It won’t be like last time.” Rather than angrily denounce him or report him to the police, Donny merely says “I’d love to”, indicating his reluctant complicity in his abuse.

Yet the most affecting and memorable moment in the episode comes when Donny visits his parents at home, and tells them about the abuse that he has suffered, and his public emotional breakdown as a result. His mother is nothing but compassionate, even as her son says that “I never wanted you to know, because I never wanted you to think less of me”. His profane, angry father (played, brilliantly, by Mark Lewis Jones), meanwhile, quietly admits that he, too, was abused – “I grew up in the Catholic Church” – and then finally embraces his son after asking “Would you see me as less of a man?” It is a hugely powerful scene and, just like the rest of Baby Reindeer, subverts expectations in the most brilliant of ways.

Baby Reindeer is streaming on Netflix now