Bachelor in Paradise recap: Meet the new men turning heads in paradise
Tuesday's Bachelor in Paradise starts right where Monday night's explosive episode ended: Jesse Palmer has just evicted all of the women in order to bring in five new women — Kate, Sarah, Eliza, Jessenia, and Florence — to see if BIP can bring the 'playas' out in Playa Escondida. (I'm sorry.)
Serene, Genevieve, Lace, and Jill are all sobbing as they pack their bags and hop into what has to be *extremely Jesse Palmer voice* the most morose group car ride to a luxury hotel in Bachelor history. Feet are up. Eyes are red. The sadness is almost palpable.
The women are dropped off at a gorgeous hotel, but not even air conditioning can lift their spirits as Jill, Genevieve, and Lace begin to suspect the worst about their respective partners. "They're going on dates! I'm not there! He's not gonna say no!" Genevieve yells. "They're going to be kissing and they're going to be talking about deep stuff. I'm gonna be in my head in a hotel! He's on this beach with all the other girls!"
ABC The women are not happy.
Jill, unfortunately, is right in her assessment. Jacob takes an interest in Kate straight away and they make out at the pool party later that night. In a confessional interview, Kate shares that anything goes when it comes to getting a rose. "I'm not leaving, mark my words," she says. "I will take a crab and literally ride it off into the ocean before I leave this beach without a rose." I don't fully understand, but I respect the creativity.
Lace's heart is similarly tied up in knots. As she spirals, Rodney hits it off with Eliza and the pair share a kiss. The moment is juxtaposed with clips of Lace sharing how she sees a future with Rodney, which is brutal.
Michael and Danielle return back from their date to an entirely different Paradise, which is, objectively, hilarious. "I have no idea who these people are," he confesses. Thankfully, Danielle isn't banished to the outside wasteland like the other ladies and is allowed to stay in Paradise.
The wasteland, however, quickly transforms into a wonderland when Jesse Palmer returns to introduce five new men who will be living with the women for the next week: Rick and Olu from Michelle's season, Alex from Rachel Lindsay's season, Tyler from Rachel and Gabby's season, and Adam from Bachelorette Australia.
ABC Meet the new men!
"We've got five shiny new toys. They could be fun. Who's your pick?" Victoria jokes. "This is gonna be a breeze. I don't need the boys anymore. Bye, boys! Have fun with your girlfriends."
While a few women — Serene, Genevieve, Victoria, Lace, and Jill — remain committed to their relationships, both Shanae and Brittany express interest in Tyler.
In fact, Shanae repeatedly tells him that her "options are open" even though it seemed like she and Logan were headed in a more solid direction after the rose ceremony. "It actually feels really awkward," she shares. "It feels like I'm cheating." That's because you kind of are, dude!
Sidenote: it's very important that everyone knows that Adam's job is listed as "Thor's Body Double." A cursory Google search tells me that he wasn't actually Chris Hemsworth's stand-in, but he was one of Zeus' attendees in Thor: Love and Thunder. You can actually spot him in the trailer.
Marvel Studios / Disney Adam Todd in 'Thor: Love and Thunder.'
After meeting Tyler, Brittany is "very confused" about her relationship with Andrew, which is Bachelor in Paradise for "I like Tyler now." It's confirmed when she not only accepts a potential date, but proceeds to make out with him too.
ABC Adios, Andrew!
This move is made worse because, back on the beach, Andrew is worried about hurting Brittany's feelings by exploring a relationship with Jessenia. In the same vein, Logan says that he's "confident" that nothing can ruin his relationship with Shanae. Which means…
You guessed it! Shanae gets a date card. She picks Tyler and they do tantric yoga together. ('Tantric' is truly the keyword of this season.) After laying on top of one another in some… unique poses — which cause Shanae to sweat from "every crack," apparently — she admits she feels more "connected" with Tyler than Logan.
Meanwhile, Jill is threatening physical violence if Jacob talks to another woman, going as far to say, "I'll blow his [bleep] clean off if I walk back in and he has like, some bitch's legs on him or something." Listen, there's a lot to unpack there, but it would be great if she could stop labeling other women "bitches" for liking the same guy as her on a reality dating show. It's 2022, Jill! Come on!
Kate, however, has a label for Jacob: "One of the Avengers." Yes, we're two-for-two on Marvel references tonight. Who is she referencing? Thor? Steve Rogers? Hopefully not Ant-Man. Later on, she also describes Jacob as "hotter than the devil's [bleep] with a tajin rim," which is… inventive, but dreadful.
While Shanae is away, Logan will play (the field). He accepts a date with Sarah and the pair enjoy a picnic, some beachside horseback riding, and then make out while frolicing in the ocean. In the end, it appears that nothing can truly ruin Logan and Shanae's relationship except Logan and Shanae.
ABC Logan and Sarah on their date.
Fully ready to win over Andrew's heart, Jessenia plans a mini-date featuring a bottle of red wine and heart-shaped pizza. (Somewhere, the Pizza King is screaming at his television.) The pair bond over their "nerdy" interests — Andrew can't believe it that Jessenia plays video games — and share a kiss after their meal.
After their date, Shanae is still thinking about Tyler. She's ready to move toward the Boom Boom Room when Jill hilariously kills the mood by talking about Jacob non-stop. At the end of the night, Shanae heads to her room alone, adding, "I got [bleep]ed for sure."
ABC Shanae is NOT amused.
In a surprising turn of events, a third date card for Rodney gets revealed near the end of the episode. He takes Eliza on a dinner date in which he affirms that he's "actually looking for love" and that his "goal is to leave here in a relationship." The pair, who are adorably nervous all evening, appear to be on the same wavelength.
But, in true Paradise fashion, if something seems too good to be true, then it definitely is. While Rodney and Eliza are sailing the seas of love, it's all hands on deck back at the hotel as Lace flees to paradise to make sure her and Rodney are "on the same page." She locates the other men, who notify her that Rodney is on a date, and the mood quickly becomes horribly awkward.
When they refuse to answer any of her questions, Lace gets emotional and snaps at them for "coming at me" with questions about their own partners. It's at that moment, of course, that Rodney and Eliza walk down the steps hand-in-hand.
ABC Lace sees Rodney.
The situation only seems to get worse as Lace whisks Rodney off to a distant cabana to talk before the episode ends on a dreadful cliffhanger until next week. How do you think Lace and Rodney's conversation will go? Are you a fan of the new couples? Let us know in the comments!
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