After Debate, Jon Stewart Wants Both Biden and Trump on PEDs: ‘As Much as They Can Get’ (Video)

Tony Maglio

June 28, 2024 at 10:50 a.m.·2 min read

Jon Stewart saw what we all saw last night, and he’s just as scared as the rest of us.

On the left side of our screen, we had a liar and a convicted felon. On the right side— well, it’s hard to even describe what happened on the right side.

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Suffice it to say, Thursday’s CNN-hosted debate was not Joe Biden’s night. Whatever rumored (we’d say “reported,” but consider the sources) cocktail of brain-and-body-kickstarting drugs the sitting U.S. president is supposedly on is simply not strong enough. Get this man the Jose Canseco mix — and then some.

“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs. As much of it as they can get, as many times a day, as their bodies will allow,” Stewart said. “Performance-enhancing drugs that will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s case, improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism. Whatever magical drugs that can kick their brains into gear, because this ain’t Olympic swimming.”

And if it had been Olympic swimming, the metaphor would be Team USA just sinking to the bottom of the pool.

“If those drugs don’t exist… I could sure fucking use some recreational ones right now,” Stewart continued. “Because this cannot be real life. It just can’t. Fuck!”

Literally same. Watch the video here:

Earlier this year, Stewart returned to Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” as an executive producer and a part-time host. Both jobs are temporary at the moment. Stewart’s immediate successor behind the desk, Trevor Noah, left in late 2022.

Former “Daily Show” correspondent Hasan Minaj was supposed to inherit the program post-Noah, but he lost the job after it came out that he fabricated stories about police abuse in his stand-up comedy routine. So the search for a new host is back on, and Stewart is back on — for Monday nights through Election Day, at least.

Between his “Daily Show” tenures Stewart hosted an Apple TV+ talk show. That dissolved over creative differences.

Last night, Stewart went live immediately following the first (2024) presidential debate, which ran from 9 p.m. ET until 10:39 p.m. ET — and then the pundits had their turn. Thursday’s debate, moderated by Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, was simulcast on 23 networks and platforms.

“The Daily’s Show’s” election-season coverage, “Indecision 2024,” will tape a full week of shows from both Republican National Convention (RNC) in Milwaukee (July 15-18) and the Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Chicago (August 19-22).

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