Princess Kate's diagnosis and how to cope with cancer while parenting young children
News of Princess Kate's cancer diagnosis brought a sudden focus on what it's like for parents caring for young children while undergoing chemotherapy.
The Princess of Wales shared details of her cancer journey and discussed how her family has been coping with the news in a video released by Kensington Palace on Friday.
Princess Kate spoke about how she and Prince William processed the news, managed her diagnosis and treatment and talked with their children, George, 10, Charlotte, 8, and Louis, 5, about it.
“Most importantly, it has taken us time to explain everything to George, Charlotte and Louis, in a way that is appropriate for them, and to reassure them that I am going to be ok,” she said.
The issues she raised were deeply resonant for many Americans coping with the disease while raising children, according to organizations specializing in cancer care.
Cancer groups in the U.S. said raising and guiding young children through a parent's diagnosis can be extraordinarily difficult, particularly as parents grapple with the life-altering effects of cancer treatment.
'So thoughtful:' Experts praise Princess Kate's message
The University of California, Davis, Comprehensive Cancer Center said children typically cope best when parents include them by sharing age-appropriate information and offering them opportunities to express themselves and feel connected with family. With continued support, children can learn to cope with difficult situations.
Children may feel powerless to change their parents’ circumstances, according to the American Society of Clinical Oncology. But asking children to help, even with tasks as simple as chores, can help them feel like they are making a difference. The organization cautioned against creating unrealistic expectations, which could add stress for a child who might already feel overwhelmed by a parent’s cancer diagnosis.
Helping children through a parent’s cancer diagnosis and treatment is one of the toughest parts of the whole ordeal, said Dr. Ginger Gardner, a gynecologic surgeon at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York.
She praised Princess Kate for mentioning how she communicated with her children about her diagnosis.
“I give Kate such huge congratulations in her statement that she makes it a priority to say how she is so thoughtful in considering how to best communicate with her children,” Gardner said. “Under the duress of a personally significant diagnosis of this type, to prioritize her children and try to bring her best intellect and empathy to her children’s experience is heroism. It’s hard.”
Dr. Richard Barakat, physician in chief and executive director of the Northwell Cancer Institute, which operates 21 hospitals and 10 cancer centers in New York, advised parents to remain positive for their children.
“We’re doing everything we can to make sure mommy’s going to be fine,” is a good message, he said, emphasizing the – hopefully – temporary nature of the illness and the fact that doctors are providing good care. Parents should also do what they can to maintain the child’s typical routine, both for the child’s sake and the patient’s. “Let the child see as normal a life as possible,” he said.
Some parents might think saying nothing to their kids is a way to protect them, but that's a mistake, experts said.
“It's so important for parents to be truthful, and you can be truthful in an age-appropriate way,” said Meredith Cooper, co-founder of the Texas nonprofit Wonders and Worries, which has developed resources for parents and health providers to help cope with cancer. “You can also say, I don't know, let me think about that. I'll get back to you.”
'Do not lose faith or hope'
Princess Kate did not disclose what type of cancer she's been diagnosed with, only that it was discovered after she underwent abdominal surgery in January. Her doctors advised her to undergo chemotherapy. That treatment is ongoing, she said.
Millions of parents around the world have raised children while going through the physical and mental demands of cancer treatment, a point Princess Kate touched on in her video.
She used her diagnosis to spread a message to others facing cancer.
"For everyone facing this disease, in whatever form, please do not lose faith or hope," Kate said. "You are not alone."
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Princess Kate's cancer: how she and other parents can cope
