Kim Kardashian is the only reason to watch awful 'American Horror Story: Delicate'

Well-played, Ryan Murphy.

Just when we thought we’d freed ourselves from “American Horror Story,” which has been virtually unwatchable for nearly a decade, the mega-producer lured us back into his gory, gimmicky fold with Season 12 of FX's anthology series, “Delicate,” starring none other than Kim Kardashian.

The “PAW: Patrol” actress and reality TV personality has a significant role in the latest installment (★, Wednesdays at 10 EDT/PDT and streaming on Hulu), which centers on a young woman (Emma Roberts) who might be pregnant with Satan’s spawn. But not even Kardashian’s inspired casting can save this dreadful new season, which arrives stillborn with an exhausted riff on “Rosemary’s Baby.”

"American Horror Story" veteran Emma Roberts returns in new season "Delicate."
"American Horror Story" veteran Emma Roberts returns in new season "Delicate."

Shortly after the season premiere picks up, Hollywood starlet Anna Victoria Alcott (Roberts) makes her way to yet another fertility appointment, as she and her husband (Matt Czuchry) struggle to start a family. But of course, things feel dangerously off from the get-go: Anna wakes up with sharp pain after her egg retrieval. (“Nothing worth waiting for is ever easy,” an unbothered nurse assures her.) There’s also a creepy doctor, some shady prescriptions, and a foreboding woman who may or may not be Anna’s stalker.

In other words, nothing that hasn’t already been done in dozens of other horror movies (or for that matter, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1,” which irrevocably scarred us with its gnarly birth scene). It doesn't help that Roberts and Czuchry have all the sparks of a campfire during monsoon season, and their one-note performances are further damped by banal writing.

Kim Kardashian's Siobhan is the wonderfully unhinged highlight of "American Horror Story" Season 12.
Kim Kardashian's Siobhan is the wonderfully unhinged highlight of "American Horror Story" Season 12.

The few times the premiere episode has a pulse come when Kardashian is on screen. The shapewear mogul has long been called vapid and superficial by her critics. But here, she cleverly leans into that Valley girl persona, playing Anna’s concerned publicist Siobhan. She dryly eviscerates everyone from Hilary Swank to the directors of “Everything Everywhere All at Once," and makes Waldorf out of word salad. (“You have a peculiar penchant for turning dreams into nightmares,” Siobhan says, in her dual role as Anna’s confidante and walking exposition.)

The ruthless one-liners keep coming when Anna gets a prime late-night booking on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen,” and Siobhan is forced to comfort her quickly unraveling client. (“Oh honey, don’t cry. Your face cannot get puffy for Andy.”)

Sure, there are some lame jokes about Tom Sandoval and other “Bravolebrities.” And yes, Kardashian’s acting skills may be more People’s Choice than Emmy-worthy. But like “American Horror Story” alums Jessica Lange and Lady Gaga before her, she’s the only one so far to deliver on the season’s high-camp potential.

And for that, we thank you, Kim. You’re doing amazing, sweetie.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Kim Kardashian is a campy delight in 'American Horror Story: Delicate'