Why Melissa Etheridge Refuses to ‘Get Stuck in a Cycle of Grief’ 4 Years After Son Beckett’s Death (Exclusive)

"You just have to love yourself enough to know that your loved one would not want you to take that on," Etheridge tells PEOPLE in this week's issue

Melissa Etheridge is sharing how she handled her difficult feelings after the death of her son Beckett.

The Grammy-winning singer, 63, spoke with PEOPLE about her docuseries Melissa Etheridge: I’m Not Broken, out July 9 on Paramount+, which sees Etheridge putting on a rocking show for women at the Topeka Correctional Facility.

The series features many women who struggle with drug addiction, an issue that hits close to home for the mom of four, as she lost her 21-year-old son to an opioid overdose in 2020.

"I learned to understand more about eternity. And how we are eternal beings, and how I truly believe in that," Etheridge tells PEOPLE of what she's learned in the years since Beckett's death.

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Related: Melissa Etheridge Shares the Secret to Her Marriage Success, Jokes Having the Same Birthday as Her Wife 'Helps' (Exclusive)

"Otherwise, it would be too hard to even take any death. And to really believe in that is comfort. And to understand that we're spiritual beings who are having a human experience," she continues. "And we come and go."

Etheridge says she gets "some relief" from knowing that everyone is going to die someday, and that her painful experiences have inspired her to follow the mantra "live with love."

"And this love that I speak of is not just for others, it's for yourself. It's for myself. And to love myself enough not to get stuck in a cycle of grief and blame, and shame, and stuff that comes along, especially with anyone who's addicted," she explains.

"When you lose [someone to addiction], it destroys families. It's just so hard on a family because there's so much shame and guilt and they don't know what to do," Etheridge continues. "You don't know how to save your loved one because you can't, because they have to save themselves."

"And then sometimes they don't. Sometimes the answer is to check out. That's where they go. And the guilt is never answered. You just have to love yourself enough to know that your loved one would not want you to take that on. That it has nothing to do with me, really, at all."

The mom of four says she often feels her late son around her, noting that it's "comforting" to her.

"There'll be times I'll be doing something, all of a sudden I'll find myself just thinking about him, and I'm like, 'Oh.' His energy comes into that thought form. And, 'Oh there it is. Bam.'"

"As long as we can keep it positive and not go down into a negative thought," Etheridge adds. "And just understanding our own thoughts and how we can control them and how we have more power than we think we do."

For more on Melissa Etheridge, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday.

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