Call the police! The squirrel on my front porch is behaving suspiciously.
Apparently someone did call the police to report an erratic squirrel this year, and that's only number eight on the list of the "Top 12 Silly Calls of 2012" the police in Chatham, Ont., released today.
The Chatham-Kent Police Service releases the list each year as a reminder not to waste authorities' time with problems that don't constitute an emergency or a crime. The yearly list might not be working, if the selection of ridiculous calls this year is any indication.
At least it's a good source of comedy.
The top silly call of the year went to a 20-year-old who hates hygiene, apparently, because he called police and reported that his father told him to brush his teeth but he didn't want to. In the end, he brushed.
In other domestic disputes, a 13-year-old youth told police her mother wouldn't let her do her own laundry.
Disturbance by animal was a popular theme, with one woman calling 911 to report that a duck attacked her and then retreated to a puddle to stare at her. "The woman was not injured and officers failed to locate the duck upon their arrival," the list says.
A large snapping turtle on the sidewalk was the reason behind another call by a man who seemed concerned the turtle might jump into traffic.
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In fairness, some of the callers were reporting crimes. Like a woman who called police to say her drug dealer had laced her crack and she was hallucinating and hearing voices. "She asked police to make him stop doing that," the list says. No, wait, she probably didn't get it either.
Police also included awards for the dumbest criminal, worst driver, and best speeding excuses. The year's cutest call, however, takes the cake.
A toddler, 3, became so worked up while watching the movie Cars that he called 911. He was concerned about the safety of Lightning McQueen, the film's animated hero, while the bad guy chased him.
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